Parenting
By Jamie Carter
Updated: April 6, 2018
Originally Published: July 7, 2016
I have a spirited child, and it’s certainly not my fault. My partner and I have made numerous attempts to rein in his exuberance, but the origins of his wild nature remain a mystery to us. Neither of us exhibited such behavior as kids, nor do his older siblings. Before he arrived, I often judged parents whose children acted out in similar ways, wondering why they couldn’t control them—how naive I was!
Now, I understand that when a child is naturally wild, it’s simply part of their essence. While you can manage their behavior to some extent, that wild streak is an inherent part of who they are. As my son has grown, he’s become aware of when he’s about to misbehave but often finds it hard to contain himself. There are moments when I can’t curb his antics either. I’ve wrestled him to the ground and carried him out of public spaces during tantrums far too many times to count. I’ve locked him in his room and even attempted to enforce a six-day sugar and TV ban (the longest six days of my life). Countless meetings with his teachers and pediatrician have not yielded a magical solution.
This isn’t about him being “bad”—he’s just wild. There’s a significant distinction. Though he can calm down temporarily after a punishment, his spirited nature always finds a way to resurface, sometimes even more vigorously than before.
He can be downright barbaric, and I doubt I could replicate some of the sounds he makes if I tried. He dreams of starting a YouTube channel called “Clumsy Caveman,” where he would grunt and pull funny faces at the camera. I’ve allowed him to indulge in this for hours because it feels like a mini-vacation for me. And when he feels the need to fart, he lets it out loudly, regardless of our surroundings—even if we were meeting the President! I’ve suggested he use the bathroom for such situations, and he happily complies, often taking his whoopee cushion with him, teaching me a lesson in the process.
I’ve watched him dance non-stop for four hours at a wedding, hoping that such an exhausting event would give me a reprieve, but to no avail. He uses my baking supplies to concoct wild experiments while I shower, and I’ve fallen victim to the booby traps he sets up in his room. When he discovered my sewing kit, he turned my needles into “secret daggers,” placing them dangerously in our cushions to see what would happen if someone sat on them.
I still have to grip his hand tightly in parking lots since he has an irresistible urge to run and leap in open spaces, oblivious to potential dangers. When he started kindergarten, his teacher candidly expressed her apprehension about having him in her class due to his past behavior during pickups.
His room resembles a chaotic laboratory. Currently, he’s attempting to grow gum in a pot of dirt—definitely one of his tamer experiments. Once, at the age of two, he was running rampant in a grocery store, and after a sweaty struggle, I had to confine him to the cart. In a moment of defiance, he launched a can of green beans down the aisle, prompting a nearby woman to suggest I encourage him to try out for sports. I had hoped that organized athletics would channel his energy, but after just one season, he declared he hated sports. I refuse to force him to play, as I wouldn’t want to disturb the other kids or coaches who might be subjected to his theatrical antics.
During summer, he rises at dawn to pick berries from our garden for breakfast. His creativity knows no bounds; he can dismantle and reassemble anything just by observing it. He’s even fascinated by survival shows like Naked and Afraid, and I believe he could thrive in the wilderness better than most. Science camp bored him because he felt he already knew all the material.
So yes, I have a spirited child. I’ve invested blood, sweat, and tears into teaching him how to behave appropriately. Yes, I often feel exhausted. However, I love him deeply. He knows his desires, refuses to conform, expresses his thoughts freely, and I wholeheartedly believe in him. While I strive to instill a sense of decorum, I also recognize the importance of preserving the unique qualities that make him who he is. Some days, this balance seems daunting, but he is my son, and I cherish every aspect of him.
In conclusion, while parenting a spirited child comes with its challenges, the love and joy they bring to our lives are immeasurable. For those navigating similar paths, it’s essential to embrace the wildness while also finding ways to channel it positively.