A while ago, my sister’s husband gifted me a vibrant sign bearing the familiar saying, “Good moms have sticky floors, dirty ovens, and happy children.” I couldn’t help but chuckle and quip about how my floors aren’t sticky and my oven is spotless—what was he implying? He stumbled over his words, realizing the unintended message. “Oh, no! Your home is immaculate… I just thought the sign was cool.” Nice try, buddy.
You’ve likely come across similar sayings plastered on everything from wall art to coffee mugs. “Excuse the mess. My kids are making memories.” They’re everywhere, serving as badges of honor for those who embrace the chaos of parenting. But I can’t help but feel annoyed by the underlying message. As a mother to two spirited daughters who are often less than tidy, I strive to maintain a clean environment. Toys are picked up, bathrooms are scrubbed, and I wouldn’t mind if a friend dropped by unexpectedly. My floors might even be spotless!
While I appreciate my brother-in-law’s intent, the sentiment behind that sign got me thinking. Being a mom involves juggling more than just playing with kids. Sure, I enjoy spending time on activities like building blocks or hosting tea parties, but I refuse to let my toddler dictate our entire day. She exists in my world, which comes with responsibilities.
The core of this saying suggests that a good mother prioritizes play over housework. She overlooks the laundry because her child is engrossed in a game, and she ignores dirty floors for another round of hide-and-seek. This implies that a mother who focuses on keeping a tidy home is somehow failing her children.
If we gauge our success as mothers based on our children’s happiness, we have a problem. Ironically, the moments I feel I’m succeeding are often the times my toddler would disagree. I don’t clean because I’m a joyless mom; I do it to instill a sense of work ethic in my daughters. I want them to see that maintaining a household takes effort. Messes won’t vanish just because we wish they would, and I’ve learned that the hard way.
Household management requires discipline, intention, and often, creativity. At our home, we try to make chores enjoyable. Whether it’s dancing to Frank Sinatra or racing to pick up toys, I want my girls to understand the value of hard work. I hope to inspire them to pursue their dreams, whether that means becoming a teacher, a lawyer, or even a masseuse.
More importantly, I want my daughters to learn that life doesn’t revolve around them or me. While they are my motivation to rise each day, they are not my sole purpose. I aim for them to enjoy their childhood filled with laughter and exploration, but I also want them to learn to entertain themselves independently. They need to learn to grow, explore, and imagine on their own, without constant oversight from me.
So does it really matter if my house is clean? Or if yours is? Not really. I can be a great mom even with a spotless home, just as you can be a less-than-stellar one with a messy one. The real question is what values we are instilling in our kids. If we neglect our responsibilities to keep them entertained, what lessons are we teaching? Conversely, if we prioritize cleanliness over their happiness, what message does that send? Ultimately, the life skills we model through our daily routines—whether scrubbing floors or cleaning ovens—are what truly count, even if it means our children are temporarily disgruntled.
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In summary, a clean house does not equate to a lack of love or fun in parenting. Instead, it reflects the balance of teaching life skills while allowing our children the freedom to explore their world.