They occupy the floor in front of me, constructing towers from bright yellow Legos, transforming them into lightsabers. Moments later, they grab markers and a notebook to sketch a treasure map that leads them into the depths of their closet. They shift to the kitchen, dive into dress-up, or retreat to their fort, their imaginations concocting adventures meant for just the two of them.
I steal a glance at them, in awe of their creativity and ability to play together for long stretches without bickering or bursting into tears. Just moments before, they were clamoring for snacks, but now they’re lost in their world of imagination.
I pick up their notebook, filled with drawings of our family, the playground, and colorful doodles. Flipping through the pages, I notice their names—scrawled in the charming, wobbly letters of a young child.
When did this happen? When did the little one who once grew inside me learn to write, color within the lines, and even show kindness? It’s a mix of emotions that leaves me overwhelmed with love for this child, so I say to her, “Sweetheart, I’m so proud of you for being strong and brave and for your hard work learning your letters.”
But wait—am I supposed to express such pride? Isn’t there research suggesting that today’s children are overvalued, overly protected, and shielded from disappointment? Shouldn’t we be teaching them the importance of hard work and the value of gradual achievements?
Can I tell my daughter that I’m proud of her even when she hasn’t “earned” it? That my love for her is unconditional?
And it doesn’t stop there. I tell her she is beautiful, that her body is perfect just as it is. I praise her artwork and emphasize her importance, bravery, and potential to achieve anything her heart desires.
Of course, we balance this with lessons about effort, celebrating others, and sharing how hard her father and I work for our achievements. We encourage perseverance and practice. There are consequences and occasional meltdowns, and my children are delightfully average in all the best ways.
These fleeting years are precious. My voice will soon be overshadowed by friends, social media, and societal expectations. So, I seize every chance to affirm their worth, to tell them their bodies and minds are perfect as is, that they are beautiful, talented, and strong.
I want them to be resolute in their self-worth, especially when the world tries to tell them otherwise. Magazines will push them toward unrealistic standards, friends might suggest they need to conform, and boys could impose expectations on them. There will be countless voices insisting they don’t measure up.
I aim for them to be entirely confident in their identity, dismissing the negativity around them and embracing their uniqueness. There’s a distinction between fostering a sense of superiority and simply ensuring they know they are loved.
The time we have with them is a gift, an opportunity to provide them with a solid foundation, to support them, and to build them up with love and strength before they step into the world. And when they eventually achieve what we always knew they could, I’ll proudly say, “See, I knew you could do it.”
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In summary, the importance of affirming your child’s worth cannot be overstated. While it’s essential to teach them about effort and resilience, instilling a deep sense of love and value in them is crucial for their confidence and ability to withstand life’s challenges.