You’re Not Always Entitled to Be Heard

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In today’s discussions about privilege, many people often react with indifference or outright dismissal. The mere mention of the term can cause eyes to glaze over, and some might claim it’s overhyped or indicative of a hypersensitive society. Yet, understanding privilege is crucial; it doesn’t imply that individuals from privileged backgrounds never face challenges. For instance, straight individuals may experience bullying, but they aren’t targeted specifically for their sexual orientation.

My perspective on privilege is nuanced. On one hand, I recognize I have certain advantages: I’m white, cisgender (my gender identity matches my biological sex), and I was fortunate enough to grow up in a supportive environment with access to quality education without incurring substantial debt. On the flip side, I identify as a woman, I’m queer, and I struggle with body image issues. This duality gives me insight into both the frustration of being interrupted in conversations and the feeling of being overlooked when I believe my voice matters.

Every woman can relate to the irritation of a man entering a conversation about feminism only to “mansplain” the topic. It’s exasperating to hear someone try to clarify issues regarding reproductive rights or safety when women live these realities every day. We don’t need someone else to validate or explain our experiences.

Conversely, as a white person, I’ve often found myself being heard in various situations, which can lead to an inflated sense of entitlement. When I experience this privilege, I sometimes forget that my voice is being amplified not because of my individual merit, but rather due to systemic factors tied to race and gender.

A recent road trip with friends highlighted this dynamic. At a roadside gift shop, one of my friends, who is not white, was ignored while waiting to ask about a product. When I returned, the shopkeeper immediately approached me instead of her, despite her having waited much longer. My intervention drew his attention back to her, but this scenario illustrates a common microaggression faced by people of color, who often encounter daily reminders of their perceived inferiority.

These microaggressions accumulate over time, creating significant emotional stress. Women also face subtle comments from men that can be equally dismissive, even if not overtly aggressive. These experiences shape our understanding of privilege and the importance of being mindful of the conversations we engage in.

It’s essential to recognize that, while we may feel compelled to defend friends or speak up, we aren’t always entitled to dominate discussions. In doing so, we risk overshadowing those whose voices deserve priority. Sometimes, our desire to be heard stems from our need for reassurance about our own moral standing rather than a genuine understanding of the conversation at hand.

For example, if I witness a racially charged comment directed at a friend, I might instinctively want to apologize for the offense. However, this shifts the burden onto my friend to comfort me, rather than prioritizing their feelings and experience. A better response would be to acknowledge the situation without deflecting attention back to myself.

Understanding our position of privilege can lead to a more authentic engagement with marginalized communities. Instead of prioritizing our voices, we should focus on listening and amplifying those who are often silenced. We can leverage our privilege to support others, but only by stepping back and being aware of when it’s appropriate to speak up.

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In summary, understanding the nuances of privilege can help us navigate conversations more effectively. By acknowledging when it’s appropriate to step back and listen, we can create spaces that allow marginalized voices to be heard.