As my daughter recently celebrated her third birthday, she was showered with an avalanche of pink and princess-themed gifts—her sheer delight was undeniable. She adores all things princess-related, from dress-up to sparkles, embodying a love for everything traditionally girly.
I shared a photo of her in a fluffy, tulle princess ensemble, accompanied by a lighthearted comment about her unwavering obsession with “Let It Go.” That’s when I received an unexpected response.
A casual acquaintance reached out to reassure me that the princess phase was “just a phase” in raising girls, as if my daughter’s fascination was something to be pitied. I was taken aback; why would someone feel the need to comfort me about her interests changing over time? What if they never did? What’s inherently wrong with princesses?
I understand the criticism surrounding princess culture—it can diminish women’s autonomy, objectify them, and reinforce damaging stereotypes. The aggressive marketing targeting young girls is concerning, and there’s much to critique about how these narratives can negatively influence our daughters.
Yet, I realize that these issues don’t necessarily apply to my situation. I haven’t imposed princess culture on my child, and I refuse to dismiss her interests simply because they might not align perfectly with my feminist beliefs. I’ve tried to limit her exposure to the commercialization of princesses, but she’s naturally drawn to them. She also loves getting muddy on her bike, solving puzzles, and engaging in messy craft projects. She doesn’t conform to societal expectations about what a girl “should” like; her interests are her own.
My daughter can embrace her love for princesses while still being her authentic self, without being a mere pawn in a patriarchal system. Perhaps this is a fleeting fancy, or maybe she’ll develop a lifelong passion for all things princess-related. Maybe she’ll even dream of a Disney-themed wedding. While that’s not my personal preference, it’s not my life to dictate—it’s hers. As her mother, my role is to support her individuality, even if I don’t fully grasp every aspect of it.
Encouraging girls to explore their own interests, regardless of how traditional or stereotypical they may be, is vital. Feminism should uplift all girls—not just those who challenge conventions. While I have my own hopes for her future, what truly matters is her happiness and fulfillment. I want her to feel free to express herself, whether she aspires to be an engineer or a professional princess.
Thus, I am choosing to embrace princesses. If that means she wants to wear a tiara and sing “Let It Go” on repeat, then I wholeheartedly support her. Her interests are self-chosen, and she embodies as much agency as any three-year-old can. She knows who she is and confidently expresses it. When others label her a princess while she’s adorned in tulle and a tiara, she corrects them with a serious expression.
“I’m not a princess. I’m Emma,” she insists.
And that’s precisely who I want her to be—her authentic self.
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In summary, it’s crucial to allow children the freedom to embrace their interests, including those that align with traditional gender roles. Supporting their individual choices fosters their sense of self, allowing them to define who they are on their own terms.