Bringing a little one to the beach can be a challenging task, and sometimes strangers feel the need to throw in their two cents. The next time someone makes an unsolicited remark about your beach outing, consider these clever responses to send them on their way:
1. “Oh, he looks SO hot!”
Wow, really? I hadn’t noticed that my baby’s cheeks are a bit rosy from being outside in the summer sun. It’s shocking, right? But rest assured, it’s just what happens when kids are having fun. Trust me, it was even warmer in my womb. Bye now!
2. “Did you know babies can burn in the shade?”
Excuse me, but who are you? Let me just take parenting advice from someone who looks like they’ve been sunbathing since the dawn of time. I appreciate your concern, but I’m not here to explain my choices to a total stranger. I can see you’re a sun protection enthusiast, but no, thank you.
3. “Is he wearing sunscreen?”
Oh, thank you for that reminder! I completely forgot to protect him and just covered him in baby oil instead! Because, you know, a solid base tan is a must.
4. “It looks like he needs some water.”
You’re absolutely right! That’s why I have his sippy cup filled with ice water right here for him to help himself whenever he gets thirsty. Isn’t that convenient? And this Solo cup I’m holding? It’s just full of vodka that I’ll enjoy while you walk away!
5. “Did you know he’s in the sun?”
Oh, really? You mean my child, who is slathered in sunscreen and wearing a long-sleeved rash guard, is exposed to the sun? What a shocking revelation! But that’s kind of the point of being at the beach, isn’t it?
6. “Oh, I feel so bad for him. He looks so hot.”
Actually, he’s under our umbrella, laughing and munching on a sandwich with his siblings. But, sure, keep feeling sorry for him while he’s having the time of his life. Want to hold him for a while so I can take a swim without holding a baby? Thanks, bye!
7. “Do you know he’s not wearing a hat?”
Ah yes, the elusive hat that no baby ever wants to wear! I did notice he’s hat-free, and yes, his sunscreen-covered head is exposed like it is every day we go out. But really, it’s not as terrifying as you think.
8. “He’s just SO YOUNG to be at the beach.”
Thanks, kind elderly woman with skin like well-worn leather. My baby’s flushed cheeks are just a response to the 82-degree weather, not a sign of impending doom. He’s well-protected with 200 SPF sunscreen, so he’s not going to melt away.
So, the next time you feel like commenting on a young mother’s beach day, consider stepping back or maybe even offering to help so she can manage putting on sunscreen without any hassle.
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In summary, while it can be frustrating to hear unsolicited advice at the beach, it’s essential to remember that your child is safe and enjoying themselves. Next time, kindly redirect the conversation or enlist some help!