Every summer, I find myself surrounded by the same old excuses and grumbles. As the sun glimmers off the pool’s blue, chlorinated waters, kids are joyfully splashing and pretending to be mermaids, while the moms lounge on their chairs, discussing their reasons for avoiding the water. The kids start to quiet down, sensing the heavy atmosphere as their mothers share their grievances.
- My arms are too flabby.
- My breasts sag too much.
- My thighs are dimpled.
- I can’t bear to get my hair wet.
- I don’t like my belly.
- I’m too pale and have too many wrinkles.
- I indulged in too many carbs today.
- My calves aren’t sculpted.
The moms convene, each trying to outdo the other with lists of body insecurities, many of which have arisen from the joys and challenges of motherhood. Yet, I find myself immersed in the water, my toddler happily perched on my hip.
You might assume that I’m one of those women who flaunt a perfect figure. After all, doesn’t every writer have the ideal body? But let me clarify: I’m not that person.
Here’s the Truth About My Body
I have cellulite on my thighs, both front and back. I wear a two-piece, but the bottom is a size large to accommodate my curvy rear. My skin bears bluish-purple scars and reddish patches from my insulin pump sites. Attached to me is a device that resembles a pager, its tubing trailing down to an insertion point in my lower back. A small transmitter, about the size of a thumb drive, clings to my stomach, surrounded by medical adhesive. My blood sugar monitor is always within reach, ensuring my health.
These medical devices are my lifeline. The scars? They are reminders of my journey—each mark a testament to my resilience. I may not be the most glamorous person at the pool, often arriving with a messy ponytail and a budget swimsuit, but I know what matters. When I peel off my oversized t-shirt and step into the pool, I’m showing my children that joy doesn’t revolve around physical perfection. I’m demonstrating that beauty comes in many forms and that my chronic condition won’t stop me from relishing the warmth of summer.
By embracing my body, I’m teaching my kids that their worth isn’t tied to how they appear in a swimsuit. I wish I could be free from type 1 diabetes and fantasize about tossing my medical gear into the Grand Canyon while indulging in a funnel cake. But for now, this is my body—strong, imperfect, and unapologetic.
Every woman has her insecurities, no matter how flawless she may seem. I refuse to let my doubts impact my children’s perception of themselves, shaping them to believe they should remain on the sidelines as life unfolds around them. I’m diving into the pool this summer, next summer, and for many summers to come. I will splash, laugh, and enjoy every moment.
Will You Join Me?
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In summary, let go of the fear and insecurities that hold you back. Embrace your body, dive into the pool, and show your kids the beauty of living fully.