Hello, Mama. How are you holding up? I mean, truly holding up? You might say you’re okay, but I can sense that’s not the case. And you know what? I’m not okay, either.
Honestly, I don’t think I know any mothers who genuinely feel “okay.” In fact, let’s consider ditching the word “okay” from our conversations. Most days, motherhood is filled with extreme emotions. It’s a whirlwind of unparalleled joy mixed with intense frustration, love that consumes you, and fatigue that overwhelms you.
These highs and lows can really take a toll. Even the joyful moments can be exhausting. As Christine Smith, one of my favorite authors, puts it, motherhood can leave you feeling “soul-tired.” This is especially true if you neglect your own needs.
I get it. Prioritizing yourself often feels like just another item on your endless to-do list. You might wonder how you can care for yourself when little ones are counting on you. It can feel like there’s nothing left to give to yourself.
Hear me out, Mama. I’ve been in your shoes—crying alongside my baby, sleep-deprived and overwhelmed. I’ve gazed out at the chaos of toys in my living room, questioning how I ended up in this situation. I’ve experienced my nerves fraying to the point where I felt like I might snap. I’ve even battled the temptation to just walk out the door and keep going.
What I’ve learned over many years of parenting is that this impulse shouldn’t be suppressed; it should be embraced. Motherhood is a beautiful yet challenging journey. But when the challenges overshadow the beauty, it’s crucial to take a step back. In fact, it’s long overdue. Your feelings of exhaustion are valid because that’s precisely what you’re experiencing.
You may be thinking, “But why do I need a break? I love my children!” Guilt often accompanies this thought. Here’s the reality: Love is boundless, but energy is finite. Love fuels your journey as a mother, while energy powers that love. Without sufficient energy, it’s impossible to move forward. You might find yourself stagnant, knowing you should be progressing but feeling completely drained. Refueling is essential—ideally before you reach absolute depletion.
You might not want to hear this, but recharging as a mom typically involves stepping away from your kids. Sorry, it’s the truth. You can’t fuel your vehicle while driving. You might feel like you’re doing your children a favor by being “on” all the time, but you aren’t. You’re present, but not fully engaged.
Trust me; your children need you to prioritize this. They deserve a mother who isn’t running on empty, someone who has both love and energy to share. They require a mom who has taken enough time for herself to genuinely enjoy their company.
I understand this idea may seem daunting, but here’s the silver lining: it doesn’t take much. Just like it takes mere minutes to fill up your car with gas, a couple of hours away from motherhood can do wonders. You don’t need an entire weekend—just a brief period dedicated to replenishing your spirit. Whether it’s a coffee shop, a bookstore, a spa, or the gym, find a place where you feel like yourself. Bring along a book, your phone, or a friend—whatever you need to recharge. Maybe you just need a quick nap. Take it.
If you’re struggling to find someone to watch your kids for a bit, consider joining a moms’ group. If the first one you try isn’t a fit, keep searching. They’re out there! Reach out to local organizations or Google “mom groups” in your area. Connecting with just one like-minded mom to share babysitting duties can transform your experience.
Remember, what you’re feeling now isn’t the essence of motherhood. Yes, it can be tough and draining—those are universal truths. But if you feel like you’re teetering on the brink, that’s your cue to step back and take a break. It’s challenging, but you’ll be surprised how a little self-care can transform your perspective on motherhood.
The toughest part is letting go of the misconception that good moms don’t require breaks. Regular breaks are essential to prevent burnout. Caring for yourself ensures that you can care for your children more effectively. So go ahead, fuel up for both your sake and your kids’. It’s a guaranteed path to becoming a happier, more fulfilled mother.
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Summary
Motherhood is a rollercoaster of emotions, and it’s common to feel overwhelmed. It’s essential to recognize when you need a break and prioritize self-care. Taking time for yourself, even for just a couple of hours, can rejuvenate your spirit and improve your overall experience as a mom. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Prioritizing your well-being is not just beneficial for you; it’s vital for your children’s happiness too.