As parents transition from the early days of sleepless nights and constant worry to a more relaxed approach during their child’s preschool years, the nature of babysitting instructions tends to change dramatically. While seasoned parents may only provide the pizza delivery number and Netflix login, a nervous new father often feels the need to cover every conceivable scenario before leaving his baby with a sitter.
Take the case of Reddit user Mike, who shared a hilarious email that his partner had sent him. This email featured his over-the-top guidelines for their infant’s babysitter, offering a humorous glimpse into the mind of a first-time parent brimming with anxiety.
Bottles and Crying Babies
One standout section dealt with bottle preparation and managing a fussy baby. Mike amusingly noted the importance of recognizing that poop has a unique odor, emphasizing the need for caution when changing diapers. He even specified the precise timing for warming a bottle in “your” microwave, suggesting he may have done a dry run at the babysitter’s house to ensure the milk would be just right.
Additionally, Mike advised the sitter to open any potentially messy diaper with care—no instructions needed to know that a whiff of the wrong smell could send anyone running. In a clever twist, he recommended a “sneak peek” technique to gauge the diaper’s contents before diving into the cleanup process.
Engaging with the Baby
While it’s unclear whether the babysitter was a family member or a hired help, one can only imagine the job listing: “Looking for someone who is CPR certified for infants and can expertly perform Ed Sheeran’s ‘Photograph’.” Mike also humorously highlighted the purpose of pacifiers and even quantified the maximum number of baby bounces allowed on a knee—truly a dad on a mission to ensure everything is perfect.
His instructions, while comical, reflect the reality that parenting is not always instinctual. It’s normal for new parents to feel overwhelmed, and contrary to common stereotypes, dads can be just as anxious about childcare as moms.
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In summary, Mike’s meticulously crafted instructions for the babysitter highlight the amusing yet relatable concerns of a new dad. Whether you’re a parent or someone looking to understand the challenges of childcare, it’s a reminder that everyone has a learning curve.