You’ve had a long, draining day, and your toddler has decided to express their displeasure in the middle of a grocery store floor, throwing a tantrum that rivals a horror movie scene—all over a lollipop. Just as you feel like you might snap, a fellow parent, clearly more seasoned and wise, strolls by, smiles, and says, “You’re going to miss this.”
In the annals of parenting, those five words rarely bring comfort. I’m not an experienced parent myself, but I do have three kids, each at different stages of growth.
Let’s be real: you won’t miss these moments, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. Sure, you’ll yearn for various stages of their childhood. There will be moments you wish you could relive, filled with regrets about what could have been, but it’s not an all-encompassing sentiment.
I reminisce about the days when my children were tiny, snuggly infants cradled in my arms. I wish I could have them back for just a day—on their best day, of course. The past can keep the seven diaper blowouts in two hours, the sleepless nights spent comforting a teething baby, and the stress of separation anxiety. I long for the sweet babies who barely cried, devoured their meals, cuddled endlessly, and slept peacefully for ten hours straight. That’s the baby I miss.
As for toddlers? Honestly, they can be a handful, and the memories I’d want to revisit are few. My eldest was notorious for biting. He was the little diaper-clad menace of his daycare. All three of my boys had their fair share of sleep rebellions, which felt more like a curse than a gift.
The past can keep all those incident reports I had to sign after my toddler decided to take a bite out of a friend. I don’t want to relive those nights of putting him back to bed countless times. What I do miss are the milestones—their first words, their initial steps, and those moments of pure joy when they discovered something new that made them laugh uncontrollably. Those are the days I would gladly take back in a heartbeat.
Now, my boys are 5, 6, and 8. We still have many stages of childhood ahead, but I’m genuinely content with where we are. I have moments where I wish I had savored the past more. The beauty of parenthood lies in its fleeting nature—you can never fully appreciate it enough. You’ll always crave more of those good days—when everything aligns perfectly, and the baby naps, stays clean, and laughs more than they cry. Those days are achievable, and you’ll earn them.
So here’s the crux of the matter: don’t feel guilty for not missing every little moment. Not all aspects of parenthood are worthy of nostalgia. I treasure the wonderful, special moments shared with my children, even if they came at the cost of sleepless nights, tears, or a messy house. I miss certain phases, and I also breathe a sigh of relief that some challenging stages are behind us—and that’s perfectly fine.
The essence of parenting is loving your children through their best and worst times. If you miss something, it’s because you truly valued it. So, it’s absolutely okay when you don’t miss this.
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Summary
In parenting, one often feels overwhelmed and exhausted, particularly during challenging moments with toddlers. While it’s common for parents to reminisce about the past, it’s crucial to recognize that not every aspect of childhood is worth missing. Cherish the special moments while also acknowledging the relief that comes with moving past difficult phases. Ultimately, embracing the journey means loving your children through both the good and the bad.