On a frigid night in February, Sarah Timms received the devastating news no parent ever wants to hear: her 19-year-old son had passed away. Mark, a pledge at the Delta Sigma fraternity at State University, had taken part in a pledging event that involved excessive drinking the previous evening. Security footage revealed fraternity members not only encouraging underage drinking but also displaying a shocking indifference towards the clearly intoxicated Timms.
After participating in drinking games for several hours, Mark fell down a flight of stairs in the fraternity house. The footage shows his fraternity brothers dragging him back upstairs and placing him on a couch, where he remained for 12 hours without receiving any medical attention, as his friends failed to recognize the gravity of the situation.
The footage is harrowing, with various pledges and fraternity brothers seen slapping Mark’s face and pouring water over him while he lay unconscious. They attempted to prevent him from choking on his vomit by using a backpack to keep him in place—an absurd measure in a moment of crisis.
The timeline documented in legal proceedings is unbearable for any parent to digest. Mark was given his first drink shortly after 9 PM and was visibly impaired just an hour and a half later. For 12 hours, he suffered from both his fall and alcohol poisoning, receiving intermittent abuse and neglect until someone finally called for help.
It took 12 hours to reach 911. Tragically, that call came far too late. Mark succumbed to complications from his ordeal, leading to manslaughter charges against eight fraternity members involved.
Reading this account filled me with disbelief and anger. How could a group of young men allow one of their own to deteriorate in such a manner? Is it merely peer pressure or a toxic fraternity culture? Another young life lost due to reckless choices and excessive drinking. We frequently encounter stories like this, leaving us frustrated and concerned.
Are we neglecting our responsibility to educate our children about alcohol? More importantly, are we instilling the values of empathy and responsibility in them? As my son approaches his teenage years, I reflect on the lessons I’ve tried to impart about right and wrong. He will soon be navigating high school and beyond, leaving my protective gaze. What if he finds himself in a similar scenario? Will he be the one to call for help? The thought of Sarah Timms’ unimaginable grief haunts me. If my son drinks too much at a party, will he face the same fate?
As parents, we must enhance our efforts in teaching our kids about the dangers of alcohol consumption. We also need to equip them with the knowledge on how to recognize signs of intoxication in their friends and the courage to act accordingly.
While it’s easy to point fingers at universities, fraternities, and college administrators who should be supervising students, that won’t change the tragic outcome for Mark Timms. We can pursue justice through the court system, but that won’t ease the pain for his family.
We can condemn the parents of the individuals charged, asserting that our children would never behave in such a deplorable manner. However, outrage after the fact does nothing to prevent future tragedies.
The time to engage your teen about alcohol isn’t when they’re packing for college. Initiating conversations about alcohol use when they’re young is crucial and could save lives. Websites like Talk Early and Often and Responsibility.org stress the importance of these discussions.
Talk early. Talk frequently. And keep the dialogue going—even when it feels like they aren’t paying attention. Share your own experiences with alcohol, including the lessons learned. Discuss news stories about alcohol-related incidents, and help your teen download a ridesharing app for added safety.
Talk to them about your college experiences (you don’t have to share every embarrassing detail). Your children see you as a role model, and knowing that you’ve faced similar challenges can empower them. Most importantly, discuss cases like Mark Timms’ and what actions to take if they find a friend in distress. Role-playing these scenarios can help them feel confident to confront peer pressure and act decisively.
After you’ve spoken, listen to their thoughts on peer pressure and social situations.
Engage in conversation. Listen. Repeat.
Because somewhere, a parent would give anything for one more moment with their child.
Summary
This article emphasizes the importance of early and ongoing conversations about alcohol consumption between parents and teens. By discussing responsible drinking, sharing personal experiences, and role-playing potential scenarios, parents can help prepare their children to make wise choices and act compassionately in critical situations.