Every mother knows the drill. After a busy morning filled with feeding, cleaning, chasing, and entertaining her little ones, she finally reaches that blissful moment—nap time. She ushers her kids to their beds, plants kisses on their cheeks, and whispers sweet dreams before gently closing the door. With a wave of relief, she heads to the sofa for some well-deserved relaxation. Just as she settles in, ready to unwind with the remote in hand, the doorbell interrupts her peaceful moment.
Peeking outside, she spots a familiar face—an unexpected visitor. As they exchange surprised greetings, she feels a mix of joy and frustration. “I was in the area and thought I’d drop by. Hope that’s alright,” they say cheerfully. Naturally, she responds with enthusiasm, “Absolutely! Come in!” But in her mind, she thinks, an hour later would have been perfect.
As they chat, the clock ticks away, and soon enough, she hears the unmistakable sounds of her children waking up. Snack time rolls around, followed by another round of feeding, cleaning, and refereeing. Before she knows it, bedtime arrives, and after tucking the little ones in, she heads to the kitchen to tidy up. Once that task is done, she grabs the laundry from the dryer and finally sits down next to her partner to catch up on the day’s events. Exhausted, she showers and crawls into bed, realizing she had no time for herself whatsoever.
It might sound pessimistic, but I’m voicing a truth that many mothers feel but rarely express: We cherish your visits, but advance notice would be appreciated. A simple call or text could transform the experience, allowing us to organize our day and tidy up a bit. You might say, “Oh, don’t worry about the mess,” but the reality is, we do care about it.
Keeping a perfect home every hour of the day is impossible, but we’d love the chance to prepare for your arrival. If you plan to visit in the afternoon, I could tidy up while the kids have lunch—or if it’s a morning visit, I might need to spend a bit of extra time the night before getting things in order.
While nap time may seem like an ideal opportunity for an uninterrupted chat, for many of us, it’s our only time to recharge. It’s the one part of the day when there aren’t any demands or distractions. Instead of stopping by during this precious window, I would much prefer that you come over before or after. Let’s sit outside under the shade of a tree while the kids play, or enjoy a cup of coffee together in the morning. I truly want to see you, but I’m pleading with you—please don’t drop by during nap time.
This article originally appeared on June 2, 2016.