As I lay in the ICU, recovering from a harrowing experience, a nurse from the NICU entered my room. With a gentle smile, she asked, “Have you decided on names for your babies?” My triplets were just two days old, and until that point, they had only been referred to as “Baby A,” “Baby B,” and “Baby C.” Born over 17 weeks early, my husband and I hadn’t selected names. How could we name our “Baby A,” who had tragically passed? This was a challenge we never expected to confront.
Many parents wait until they can see their child to choose a name, and it’s understandable—names hold significance and shape identities for a lifetime. However, that wasn’t our reality. My husband and I hadn’t seriously discussed names, aside from lighthearted mentions of needing six—three first names and three middle names. The truth was, we were terrified.
After a close call with our triplets at 18 weeks gestation, we began living in a state of anxiety. Instead of preparing a nursery, we were counting down the days until our babies would reach a medically viable age. Ultimately, they arrived at 22 weeks and 6 days, and against the odds, all three were born alive. Sadly, just two hours after her birth, our firstborn, Mia, slipped away in our arms. In our shock and grief, naming our children felt like the last thing on our minds.
By day three in the NICU, we noticed the nurses had taken a liking to our tiny 1-pound babies, giving them affectionate nicknames that all started with the letter “J.” It was then that we realized we could no longer delay the decision. I had only briefly met our children when I was wheeled into the NICU for the first time, but I felt an undeniable urge to name them. With a tangle of wires and IVs attached to me, my husband and I began to brainstorm names. I opened my phone, where I had kept a list of names I had collected over the years. Jamie and Jordan stood out, and thankfully, my husband was on board. That part was easy—Jamie and Jordan were alive.
Meanwhile, several floors down in the hospital morgue, our peaceful angel remained known only as “Baby A.” I hesitate to admit it, but I struggled with giving her a name. What if none of our children made it? What if I wasted a name? How could I name a child whose eyes were still fused shut after only a few hours? Reflecting back nearly three years later, I now understand the profound significance of a name. We always felt that Mia was a beautiful choice, and ultimately, we went with our instincts. I’m grateful we did.
What I didn’t fully comprehend three years ago was that the name itself isn’t what matters; it’s the person it represents. A name is an identity, but it’s the life lived under that name that becomes a legacy. When we named our children, there wasn’t a particular method behind it; they were simply names we cherished. After Mia passed, followed by Jordan two months later, I found myself wondering when I would hear their names again. Many people find it difficult to discuss death, especially the loss of a child. I didn’t expect to hear their names outside of our close circle.
Looking back, I never anticipated what lay ahead in the subsequent months and years. I hear the names of all three of my children daily. Sometimes it’s me mentioning them; other times it’s a friend or supporter referencing them in conversation. However, it’s the sound of my surviving triplet, Jamie, gently saying Mia and Jordan’s names that resonates most deeply with me. The fear that my angels would be forgotten has faded away. Though Mia and Jordan spent only a brief time on this earth, their legacy will endure. My beloved Jamie embodies all three of them—a remarkable young girl who has already made a significant impact in the world.
For more insights on pregnancy and parenting, check out this article on the at-home insemination kit, which can offer guidance for those on a similar journey. Additionally, if you’re looking for authoritative information on the process of conception, the advocacy resources are invaluable. Also, the Wikipedia page on in vitro fertilisation is an excellent resource for understanding the intricacies of pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, naming a child, even in the midst of grief, can be a powerful act of love and remembrance. It shapes not only their identity but also reflects the lives they touch.