6 Approaches to Educate Your Children About Disabilities

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At home insemination

Updated: June 27, 2023 | Originally Published: May 16, 2016

“Mommy, why is that girl acting differently?” a curious child asked. It was clear she had noticed my son, Max, a remarkable boy who just so happens to have Down syndrome. Max also experienced hair loss a few years ago, sporting a bald look that he carries with confidence, yet it often invites curious gazes. I turned to offer an explanation, but the child’s mother quickly whisked her away, avoiding the conversation.

For a long time, I found myself feeling uneasy around individuals with disabilities. In fact, I used to avoid any interaction with those who were different. If my little ones had pointed out someone’s uniqueness with questions, I would have felt embarrassed. However, my perspective shifted when I welcomed Max into my life six years ago. He has imparted invaluable lessons that I never expected.

Many parents seek guidance on how to discuss disabilities with their children. I often overhear whispers at the park, zoo, or grocery store. I want to embrace every inquisitive child and every well-meaning parent, reassuring them that their questions are valid. In fact, they are essential. We should encourage curiosity and initiate conversations that promote understanding rather than letting uncertainty and fear take root.

Here are six strategies to consider when discussing disabilities with your child:

1. Embrace Differences
   Children with special needs may stand out, but that’s perfectly normal. It’s common to feel uneasy around those who seem “different.” Instead of pretending these differences don’t exist, let’s address them respectfully. For instance, Max’s bald head and almond-shaped eyes might be unusual, but they make him unique. Recognizing that everyone has distinct features can help your child appreciate diversity.
2. Highlight Commonalities
   Children with disabilities share many similarities with their peers. Discuss what your child and a child with special needs might have in common—eyes, hair, hands, and emotions. What do they enjoy playing? What type of music do they like? While disabilities can be significant, they do not define a person’s entire identity.
3. Clarify Misconceptions
   It’s essential to communicate that disabilities are not synonymous with illness. Avoid using terms like “sick” or “wrong.” For instance, instead of saying, “That boy has a sickness that makes it hard for him to communicate,” clarify that some individuals are simply born with different abilities. This distinction is crucial in nurturing understanding among children.
4. Use Appropriate Language
   Teaching kids the correct terminology is important. Words like “disability” and “special needs” are essential, and phrases like “typical child” can replace “normal” to reduce stigma. For example, “A typical child might walk at 12 months, while Max walked at almost 3.” Avoid derogatory terms, as they can perpetuate harmful stereotypes. For more guidance on inclusive language, visit r-word.org.
5. Encourage Questions
   Children’s curiosity is something to celebrate. If they ask about disabilities, encourage the dialogue. If you don’t have all the answers, feel free to reach out to the child’s parents, who often appreciate the opportunity to discuss their child’s experiences. Kids may ask questions like, “Why can’t he talk like me?” and it’s perfectly normal for them to seek clarity.
6. Utilize Resources
   Many children’s programs, like certain episodes of Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, address disabilities positively. Books such as We’ll Paint the Octopus Red by Stephanie Stuve-Bodeen and My Friend Isabelle by Eliza Woloson can facilitate discussions about disabilities. The University of Wisconsin–Oshkosh offers an excellent bibliography for exploring various disabilities.

Thank you for your commitment to this important conversation with your children. One last piece of advice: your actions speak volumes. When you encounter a child with special needs, smile, say hello, and engage their parents. This approach encourages your child to embrace inclusivity and fosters a community where everyone feels valued.

In summary, teaching children about disabilities requires open dialogue, a focus on similarities, and the use of appropriate language. By modeling respectful behavior and encouraging curiosity, we can help our children understand and appreciate all individuals, regardless of their abilities.

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