Have you come across those overly ambitious chore charts for children circulating on social media? They’re quite absurd! Some suggest that toddlers should be hauling firewood or that a ten-year-old must prepare dinner and tackle a deep clean of the kitchen. Seriously? I’m in my late thirties, and I often struggle to keep up with these expectations. So I’ve put together a more down-to-earth guide for families like ours, who recognize the limits of what kids can realistically handle, as well as the fact that parents often end up redoing their kids’ chores.
Infants
Let’s be real: infants don’t do chores. Not even for those meticulously organized parents who’ve crafted these lofty chore charts.
Toddlers
- Toss dirty clothes (and maybe a toy or two) in the general direction of the hamper.
- Avoid throwing food on the floor.
- Keep bathwater in the tub.
- Dispose of trash in the bin, not in mom’s hand or hidden in random places.
- Retrieve their own juice box and open it without causing a mess.
- Inform Mom immediately if juice spills occur.
- Place all toys in the toy box—“living room floor” does not equal “toy box.”
- Put used dishes in the sink without throwing or breaking them.
Elementary School Kids
- Aim to throw dirty clothes closer to the hamper—maybe even hit the target like Dad!
- Hang up jackets and backpacks without needing constant reminders.
- Place the lunchbox in the sink right after school—not the next morning when chaos is unfolding.
- Put away Legos to spare Mom from stepping on them and yelping in pain.
Middle Schoolers
- Keep personal items contained in one drawer to avoid odors wafting through the house.
- Charge your own devices without fuss.
- Empty the dishwasher with minimal complaints.
- Toss your own clothing into the hamper, and while you’re at it, help pick up any stray socks from Dad.
High Schoolers
- Surprise Mom by vacuuming or dusting occasionally.
- Cook a meal from time to time.
- Learn how to use the washing machine.
- Get a job to cover your own gas and phone bills.
- Mow the lawn and take out the trash; embracing responsibility looks good on you.
College Students
- If you’re living on your own, we won’t bother you about chores—until we visit! Please clean up your dorm room. And for goodness’ sake, avoid dropping out, getting pregnant, arrested, or facing substance issues.
Young Adults Moving Back Home
- Quick runs to the store to help Mom out.
- Handle your own laundry.
- Prepare your meals.
- Clean your own dishes.
- Seriously? You’re an adult now!
Adults in Their 30s Still Residing at Home
- It’s time to move out already.
We get it; nobody wants to raise an entitled child. But must we set such high expectations? Should parents feel guilty for not following these unrealistic guidelines? Each family is different. In our home, one child enjoys cleaning while the other prefers activities like walking the dog or fixing things, which we believe are equally valuable contributions.
This article was initially published on April 23, 2016.
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In summary, it’s important to have realistic expectations for children’s chores based on their age and capabilities. Finding a balance that works for your family can lead to a more harmonious home life and teach responsibility without overwhelming anyone.