My spouse and I are quite the rarity, as we find ourselves largely in agreement on various aspects of life. We seldom squabble over the television remote, we maintain a united front when it comes to parenting, and we both contend that the movie Ishtar deserves its title as the worst ever made. Summer evenings by the fire pit are a favorite, and we wholeheartedly believe that fall is the most beautiful season. Our shared love of cozy wool socks, the aroma of a Sunday meal simmering in the crockpot, and binge-watching House of Cards bind us together.
We can share a knowing glance across a party, exchanging eye rolls at a talkative host. Dreams of retiring to the beach are mutual, and we can’t help but laugh until we cry at a comedic mishap in a film. Our relationship thrives on compromise, respect, and a shared appreciation for dark chocolate. However, once the topic shifts to politics, all of that changes.
When I first met my husband two decades ago, my liberal ideals saw his conservative beliefs as a challenge—an opportunity to sway him to my side of the political spectrum (not to imply the “right” side). During the initial stages of our relationship, we intentionally steered clear of political discussions, focusing instead on more romantic topics. Yet, as time passed, our differing views on issues like wages, abortion, immigration, and healthcare became increasingly apparent. Our debates about taxes, social issues, and the death penalty prompted us to navigate carefully around the political elephant that loomed over our marriage.
At our wedding, our families sat on opposing sides of the church—a literal representation of our political divide. Election seasons in our home resemble a lively circus, with our children watching us like spectators at Wimbledon as we volley our differing opinions across the dinner table. I passionately vent my frustrations over “his candidates,” while he rolls his eyes at my relentless enthusiasm for Hillary. During the 2004 presidential election, our front yard proudly displayed both Kerry/Edwards and Bush/Cheney signs, much to the amusement of our neighbors, who witnessed our lighthearted sabotage of each other’s displays. I still hear him grumble about the time I adorned his car with a Kerry sticker.
The 2008 McCain/Obama election ignited some of our most memorable debates. I couldn’t resist dressing our daughter in a pink Hillary shirt and sharing a picture with my husband of her casting her vote for a woman. I reveled in the triumph of Obama’s election, savoring that “I told you so” moment when he took office. Winning felt exhilarating, and I loved to gloat about it.
Despite our passionate political disagreements, I wouldn’t trade my marriage to a conservative for anything. My husband is one of the most intellectually stimulating individuals I know, and engaging in political discourse with him requires me to be at my best. His conservative perspective sharpens my liberal arguments and drives me to stay informed. I take pride in matching wits with him, especially when I catch his impressed eyebrow raise in acknowledgment.
Interestingly, our political clashes have paved the way for compromise in other areas of our relationship. By respectfully considering each other’s viewpoints, we’ve cultivated mutual admiration for our differing knowledge bases. I cherish the dynamic our political differences bring to our discussions, and I appreciate being married to someone who has thoughtfully developed his beliefs, even if they are at odds with mine.
As the current election season unfolds, my frustration with the Republican Party has reached new heights, while my husband struggles to endure debates alongside me. Our dinner table discussions are intense, providing our children with a balanced education on political matters. They’re learning how to form informed opinions and understand the electoral process as we keep score for our preferred candidates.
Recently, I inquired about whom he planned to vote for, and he smirked, “I’m not sure yet, but definitely not Trump.” On that, we find common ground. There’s still hope for him yet…
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Summary
This article explores the unique dynamics of a marriage between two people with opposing political views. Despite their differences, the couple finds strength in their debates and a deeper understanding of each other, ultimately fostering respect and compromise within their relationship. The discourse around politics serves to enrich their conversations and teach their children about informed opinions.