When my first child arrived, I was eager to reclaim my former self. As a new mom, I was unaware of the challenges ahead, and I felt an urgent need to return to “normal”—whatever that meant—at lightning speed.
It quickly became clear that I wouldn’t be returning to my old self anytime soon (if at all), but I was resolute about regaining a sense of humanity as fast as possible. So, I squeezed into jeans, albeit uncomfortably, showered nearly every day, applied makeup, and hosted visitors. Whenever my baby napped, I diligently penned thank-you notes for every gift we received. However, by the time I finished addressing a few cards, my baby would awaken, and I would be thrust back into the relentless cycle of newborn care.
In my frustration, I found myself wishing I hadn’t received any gifts, solely to avoid the pressure of writing thank-you notes. This was absurd, as I was truly grateful for every gesture. Yet, the weight of timely responses felt overwhelming, as if my ability to manage new motherhood hinged on my ability to act like a polite, functioning adult.
So I wrote the thank-you notes and promised that every baby gift I gave moving forward would come with a clear exemption from the obligation of reciprocation. Since then, my gifts include a note advising new moms not to feel compelled to send a thank-you note. Some take me up on it, while most adhere to the traditional etiquette of handwritten notes. This has led me to contemplate the need for a more explicit and universal exemption—perhaps every baby gift should come with a “New Mom Exemption Card.”
Such a card would include:
- Absolutely no thank-you notes necessary. A simple text saying “THX” suffices.
- Showering? Only if someone can watch your baby, otherwise enjoy that long, hot shower.
- Cleaning? Let the mess pile up; procrastination can be your ally.
- Pants and bras? You’re free from these for at least nine years.
- Entertaining guests? Use this time to nap, read, or simply relax.
- Makeup? Only if you want to.
- Shaving? Let’s be real; that can wait.
- Cooking? Takeout is your new best friend.
- Grocery shopping? Amazon Prime to the rescue.
- Anything else that isn’t about caring for yourself and your newborn.
In essence, give yourself grace and let go of the expectations. You are not meant to revert to your old self because you are now a different person—a superhuman known as a mom. New moms are performing incredible feats, from feeding and diapering to recovering from childbirth and figuring out how to navigate the world of breast pumps.
Do we really need the added guilt of sending thank-you notes for that onesie that’s already too small? Or the pressure to entertain visitors with coherent conversation? If someone wants to come by to “see the baby,” a new mom has every right to excuse herself for a much-needed nap while guests admire the little one. The New Mom Exemption Card is a gift every new mom deserves, and honestly, it’s almost worthy of a thank-you card in itself.
For more insights on navigating motherhood, check out our post about the at-home insemination kit, as well as resources on wholesome snacks for postpartum recovery at Wholesome Snacks. For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, visit Rmany, an excellent resource.
In summary, new moms should prioritize their well-being over societal expectations. The New Mom Exemption Card is a playful yet powerful reminder to embrace this transformative journey without added pressures.