I often find myself pondering what defines a “good” child in the eyes of society. Many people have described my son as a well-behaved toddler. He rarely fusses at night, he’s quick to smile, and he can entertain himself for a while, allowing others to interact with him comfortably. While I appreciate that he’s not a source of distress, I believe the term “easy” is much more fitting than “good.”
As he transitions into the exploratory phase of toddlerhood, he’s adopting a few behaviors deemed “bad.” Or are they really?
The societal norms I encounter suggest that throwing a tantrum in a store is a sign of failure, either on the child’s part or the parent’s. But when I scroll through my social media, especially during heated political discussions, I see many adults expressing their frustrations in similarly dramatic ways. We might not scream like toddlers, but our online rants can be just as emotional.
Children cry out when they don’t get to go outside, while adults vent when their day off is interrupted by work. The distinction? Not much; we just have more practice managing our emotions—most of the time.
I’ve seen toddlers admonished for not wanting to hug someone or for avoiding eye contact. Seriously? Every adult makes snap judgments about who to engage with based on their instincts of safety and comfort. Kids do the same, and assuming they’re merely being rude is misguided.
Let me clarify: Tantrums, pickiness, and outbursts aren’t ideal behaviors. However, they’re part of being human. Toddlers may express their likes and dislikes more vocally, but that doesn’t mean they are bad. They simply lack the social skills and understanding that we possess. They don’t grasp the complexities of adult emotions or the implications of their words.
Toddlers are small individuals learning to navigate a bewildering world. Their verbal skills are still developing, and when strong feelings arise, they often resort to crying as their primary means of expression.
I will certainly strive to minimize tantrums and address them swiftly. However, I refuse to penalize my son for having emotions. Instead, I’ll teach him to recognize that others have feelings too. If he doesn’t want to hug someone, I respect his choice. It’s his body, after all. If he’s not keen on eating vegetables, that’s perfectly acceptable; I have my own food aversions. Forcing him to eat something he dislikes won’t change his mind.
Raising a toddler demands a significant amount of effort, and I won’t always succeed. This phase isn’t about children being bad; it’s about them rapidly learning social skills, language, preferences, and emotional awareness. They may challenge our patience and tire us out, but their actions aren’t malicious—they are simply figuring out life. One day, we’ll likely look back fondly on these chaotic yet beautiful moments.
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Summary
In conclusion, labeling toddlers as “bad” overlooks their natural emotional development. Such behaviors are not malicious but rather part of their learning process. By fostering understanding and patience, parents can guide their children through these formative years.