Updated: August 25, 2017
Originally Published: March 30, 2016
While some may only notice your child having a meltdown, I recognize the struggle beneath the surface. I see you in the grocery store, anxiously hovering by the fence during kindergarten drop-off, or at swim class. I understand because I’ve walked that path. Raising a child with anxiety is an ongoing challenge that unfolds at home, during late-night conversations, at meal times, and throughout the day. Often, blame is cast on the child, the parents, or sometimes both.
It can be incredibly difficult to parent a child who seems to crumble under pressure, who feels scrutinized with every glance. You want to shield her from a world that can feel overwhelmingly harsh, a world that sometimes seems even too intense for you.
Looking back, there were perhaps early indicators—issues with trying new foods, difficulties falling asleep, and challenges with potty training. You hoped she would outgrow these hurdles, believing that one day she would loosen her grip on your hand and learn to navigate life independently.
However, with each new stage of development came fresh challenges. Her mind became a whirlwind of fears about dying, losing teeth, and making friends. Simple car rides turned into treacherous journeys laden with questions like, “Will I die?” and “Will you die?”
At swim class, a fellow parent remarks on how carefree your child appears as she leaps into the water. But you know the truth—she’s not as carefree as she seems; she’s a fighter. You reflect on the small victories she’s achieved, victories that other parents might take for granted, such as transitioning from a nurturing preschool to the more demanding environment of kindergarten. Each step forward is monumental, from overcoming fears of choking, to dogs, to bath time. She is so much more than her anxiety; she is a warrior.
You’ve grown accustomed to her probing questions like, “What would happen if our tires fell off while driving?” These inquiries offer a window into her anxious mind, which is perpetually in motion and often seeks your reassurance.
She continues to astonish you, especially when faced with daunting situations. When it came time for her to give blood, you anticipated a night filled with anxiety and the need for distractions like dollar store treats. Yet, after a moment of initial concern, she calmly declared she was “good.” You braced yourself for the usual panic, but instead, she wore her brave expression, proving she was ready for the challenge.
You are nurturing a fighter, not merely an anxious child. Others may overlook her struggles, but you celebrate each of her victories. Your worries about her anxiety have diminished because you believe in her, and more importantly, she believes in herself. That realization becomes your anchor, guiding both of you through this journey, one day at a time.
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Summary:
Raising a child with anxiety presents unique challenges, but it also highlights their resilience and strength. While outsiders may not see the battles fought daily, parents recognize and celebrate each victory, fostering a deep belief in their child’s capabilities. By supporting their journey, both parent and child can navigate life’s hurdles together.