I often find myself considered a “late bloomer.” Raised in a conservative religious environment, my upbringing could be described as unconventional. I abstained from wearing nail polish, participating in organized sports, or enjoying social outings on weekends. While peers indulged in Beanie-Weenies and Saturday morning cartoons, my experience of the ’80s was quite different. In many ways, my parents were quite strict.
Long before vegetarianism gained popularity, I was already embracing it, consuming meat alternatives with quirky names like “Big Franks” and “Stripples.” Dining out, I would order hamburgers sans meat, and my first authentic hot dog didn’t cross my lips until my twenties, just as I discovered the joys of pepperoni. Who knew “unclean meat” could be so tasty?
In my sheltered world, drinking, swearing, and jewelry were unheard of. My ears remained unpierced, and our lifestyle was devoid of excess. Television was limited, and movie outings were discouraged, leaving me somewhat out of touch with pop culture references from before 2000. I had never experienced classics like Ferris Bueller’s Day Off or Sixteen Candles. My parents were selective with my reading and viewing materials, believing that everything we consume impacts our minds and hearts.
While they may have had a point, it certainly frustrated me that I couldn’t watch The Smurfs.
Now, when I find myself wanting to shout, “Forget this!” while preparing dinner for my own family, I’m reminded that I’ve never heard my mother utter a curse word. Living up to such a standard is challenging, and I often fall short (I’m addressing my guilt issues), yet it reassures me that it is possible to parent without losing one’s composure.
My parents exemplified healthy relationships in both marriage and parenting, a fact I didn’t fully appreciate until later. Despite their strictness, they also granted me the freedom to make my own choices. It wasn’t until I grew older that I realized how unusual my upbringing was, but it didn’t matter; I was content. I developed the confidence to challenge myself, exploring the woods surrounding our home with nothing but my imagination and our loyal German shepherd.
By the age of seven, I was canoeing alone on the lake behind our house, climbing trees, and navigating through the woods on my bike. My parents didn’t hover; they allowed me the space to breathe. They observed from a distance, letting me explore, make mistakes, and face the consequences of my actions. This protective environment helped me cultivate an inner strength that I carried into adulthood, refining it through experience. My perspectives weren’t influenced by popular opinion since I was blissfully unaware of what that was.
As I ventured into dating, my experiences were certainly atypical, but even when I contemplated marrying someone my parents disapproved of, they respected my autonomy. I ultimately chose not to marry that person, and I appreciated their silence, allowing me to navigate my own path. They understood that effective parenting isn’t synonymous with controlling your child; attempts at control often backfire. Their thoughtful guidance equipped me with the tools necessary for making sound decisions.
As a typical late bloomer, I didn’t master makeup application until well into adulthood, but the key is that I did learn. I aspire to preserve my children’s innocence and protect their childhoods, believing there’s no rush. Except maybe for eyebrow plucking; that could have been expedited.
While my views as an adult don’t completely align with my parents’, I possess the ability to filter out external opinions and follow my intuition. This instinct is a product of years spent honing that inner voice.
Ultimately, my upbringing reinforced the notion that being different isn’t the worst fate one can encounter.
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Summary:
Growing up with strict parents offered a unique form of freedom that allowed for personal exploration and development. While their conservative values shaped my childhood, I appreciate the autonomy they granted me, enabling me to make my own choices and cultivate inner strength. My upbringing taught me the worth of being different and instilled in me the confidence to follow my instincts.