Category: Parenting
By Lisa Thompson
March 20, 2023
When it comes to handling a child’s tantrum, this discipline cheat sheet may not be the most effective tool. Picture this: your child is in the midst of a full-blown meltdown. You’re feeling overwhelmed, and just when you think all hope is lost, you remember that you have a lengthy chart filled with solutions right at your fingertips! But will it really help?
Created by child psychologist Dr. Emily Richards, this so-called “Discipline Cheat Sheet” does offer some well-meaning alternatives to the common phrases that often slip out of parents’ mouths during stressful moments. Sourced from the Facebook group Gentle Parenting, it might seem like a great idea on the surface.
However, even if you spend hours poring over this chart, the likelihood that you’ll recall these gentle phrases in the heat of the moment is virtually nonexistent. When emotions are running high, being gentle is often the last thing on your mind.
The intention behind this chart is commendable. In a perfect world, I wouldn’t roll my eyes when my son ignores me for the umpteenth time about brushing his teeth. Yet, sometimes kids need to see the consequences of their actions. They must understand that their behavior can lead to frustration. How else will they learn?
Moreover, many of the phrases suggested are indeed important for children to hear. If my daughter is being loud and disruptive in a public place, I’m certainly going to let her know that her behavior is inappropriate. It’s essential for kids to grasp what is acceptable in social situations. I don’t need to whisk her away to a quiet corner; I need her to recognize that her actions have consequences.
There are also moments when a child needs to be sent to their room for misbehavior. Sure, sometimes they might just be tired or overwhelmed and need a hug instead of a reprimand. But let’s face it: kids do misbehave from time to time. They don’t always require gentle handling; occasionally, they need to face the music.
If our goal is to raise well-behaved children who understand boundaries, we can’t always opt for a gentle approach. While it’s a lovely idea, sending a child to their room after a serious infraction is not only reasonable but sometimes necessary. Taking a step back to cool down can be beneficial for both parties.
We all have moments where our patience runs thin. In those situations, the suggestions on this chart might come in handy. However, if your child is simply acting up out of defiance, it’s perfectly acceptable to enforce consequences. It’s okay to feel frustrated or roll your eyes; nobody has a flawless response for every situation, and that’s completely normal.
Take this chart with a grain of salt. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to discipline. As parents, we’re all doing our best, and that’s what truly counts.
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Summary
This article discusses the limitations of a “Discipline Cheat Sheet” created by Dr. Emily Richards, emphasizing that while the chart offers well-intentioned alternatives for responding to children’s misbehavior, it’s often impractical in real-life situations. It highlights the importance of addressing inappropriate behavior directly and recognizes that discipline varies from child to child. Ultimately, it reassures parents that there is no perfect method for discipline, and striving to do their best is what matters most.