As an elementary educator, I’ve seen a wide variety of student personalities: the overachievers, the class clowns, the rule followers, the troublemakers, and so many more. It’s often enlightening to meet their parents, as their behaviors and attitudes can shed light on their children’s classroom experiences.
As parents, we naturally want the best for our kids and strive to shield them from pain, frustration, or disappointment. However, when they transition into adulthood, the world will not always be kind. To help ease this transition, it’s crucial that parents avoid the following detrimental behaviors:
1. Making Excuses for Their Behavior
Children must learn that life comes with natural consequences. As adults, we understand that failing to meet responsibilities can lead to repercussions, such as losing a job. The same principle applies to kids: if they forget their homework, they should be prepared to face the consequences. Refrain from contacting their teacher for special treatment or crafting elaborate stories about why assignments are missing. Such actions convey to your child that they can avoid the repercussions of their actions. It’s a hard lesson to witness, but a child who misses recess for forgetting homework will likely remember to double-check their backpack in the future.
2. Doing Everything for Them
“Can you tie my shoe?” or “I need help with my binder!” These are common requests I hear from students. While helping kids is instinctual for many parents, it’s essential to encourage independence. Children thrive on routine and should learn to take responsibility for their belongings and tasks. If you pack their backpack for them, they won’t be aware of what they need or where to find it. Instead, let them take control of their preparation. Just as you wouldn’t trust a child to prepare your work bag, they need to learn how to manage their own. Additionally, parents who clean up after their children may inadvertently foster irresponsibility, leading to a lack of accountability in social situations, like at the cafeteria.
3. Expecting Rewards for Just Participating
Not everyone deserves a trophy, and that’s a hard truth to accept. Awards like medals and ribbons should be earned through hard work and achievement. Children, like adults, need to understand that effort leads to rewards. It can be tough to see your child upset for not winning, but these moments provide essential lessons in resilience and motivation. Instead of handing out participation awards, encourage your child to strive for excellence and learn from setbacks.
4. Bringing Lunch Every Day
Some students never eat lunch with their peers because their parents bring in meals daily. If a child is hungry, they will eventually eat. By allowing them to experience hunger, they learn to prepare better for next time. While it’s lovely to join your child for lunch occasionally, consistently doing so can create feelings of jealousy among classmates. Children are sensitive to perceived unfairness, and it’s crucial for them to learn to fit in and share experiences with their peers.
The most valuable gift you can give your child is the freedom to be a kid. Allow them to stumble, learn from their mistakes, and understand the importance of accountability. This way, they’ll be better prepared for the challenges of adulthood.
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Summary:
Parents should avoid making excuses for their children, doing everything for them, expecting participation rewards, and bringing lunch daily. These behaviors can hinder their child’s growth and preparation for real-world challenges. Instead, fostering independence and resilience will better equip kids for adulthood.
