I first recognized my uniqueness as a mom long before my child was born. During my pregnancy, while battling relentless nausea and a broken rib, I found myself wandering through the baby section of Target, surrounded by a dizzying array of bedding, whimsical animal motifs, and matching curtains that left me baffled.
Amidst my confusion, a fellow mom-to-be, dressed impeccably in yoga attire, casually rubbed her belly and asked about my nursery theme. “My theme? In life?” I replied, unsure of what she meant. She clarified, revealing swatches of soft greens and paint samples for a serene ambiance that I couldn’t fathom.
Her nursery was to feature a zoo animal theme, complete with charming creatures on a train. Her mother was crafting lampshades, and I marveled at the Pinterest-perfect world of motherhood that seemed to envelop her. I felt out of place, lacking the energy or inclination for such elaborate planning. My own thoughts drifted to practicality: a crib and changing table, perhaps, but definitely not a theme.
As the inquiries about my nursery theme continued, I realized I had two options: either deflect the questions with humor about my laziness or concoct an elaborate fictional theme. At one point, I pondered claiming my theme was Ryan Gosling—surely that would lead to a quick change of subject.
The pressure only intensified during my pregnancy. A baby shower? Not for me. Gender reveal party? What was the purpose of celebrating anatomy? I dreaded the thought of being the center of attention in such a way. Instead, I opted for a “Pre-Baby Barbecue,” inviting both men and women to join in the festivities without any of the typical baby shower games. It turned out to be a success, despite my mother’s disappointment at my departure from traditional celebrations.
Once my son arrived, I quickly discovered that I didn’t fit neatly into any typical mom group. I had my eclectic circle of friends, each unique in their own right, but where were the fellow “weird” moms? Did motherhood transform people into responsible adults while leaving me behind? I remained unapologetically myself, uninterested in nursery themes or the so-called mom haircut.
On a grocery trip with my six-month-old strapped to me, a kind older woman commented on my child’s cuteness, assuming I must be a nanny. It was a frequent occurrence, and I couldn’t help but feel like an outsider. My parenting choices—like breastfeeding in public and allowing my son to grow his hair long—invited judgment and puzzled looks. Yet, I knew my son would embrace his own quirks, just as I had.
After my son’s first birthday, I threw a small gathering, feeling the pressure to conform to others’ expectations of celebration. I included some conventional elements, but as I cleaned up afterward, I realized I would never become that mom. The mismatch of perfectly coordinated napkins and cups felt foreign to me.
Ultimately, I’ve come to understand that motherhood hasn’t stripped away my weirdness. Instead, it has allowed me to embrace it. While I continue to seek out fellow unconventional moms, I’ve learned to be comfortable in my own skin. We exist in various stages—some of us uncertain, some feeling overwhelmed—but we are all navigating this journey together.
So to the weird moms out there, whether you have colorful hair, unique pets, or unconventional hobbies, don’t lose sight of your individuality. Celebrate in your own way, dance awkwardly, and enjoy the quirks that make you who you are. There’s a whole community of us wondering if we missed that “normal” gene.
If you’re exploring the path of parenthood through unconventional means, check out our post about couples fertility journeys. For those interested in expert guidance, LGBTQ+ fertility care is a crucial resource. Additionally, Progyny offers valuable insights into pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, embracing your individuality while navigating motherhood can be a fulfilling journey. Don’t conform to societal norms; instead, celebrate your quirks and find your community.