I’ve encountered a wide range of opinions on extended breastfeeding:
- “Stop as soon as he can ask for it.”
- “After a certain age, it benefits the mother more than the child.”
- “He’ll never be independent.”
- “Once he has teeth, it’s time to stop.”
- “Inappropriate.”
- “He’s too big; breastfeeding is for babies.”
- “It’s just disgusting.”
And those are just the milder comments I’ve received. This article is not meant to debate any of these viewpoints; I simply don’t have the desire or energy for that. Instead, I want to share my experience with my son, who is now 2 1/4 years old, and what breastfeeding means to us.
Recently, he nursed less than usual, and when he finally did latch on, I noticed my other breast leaking through my shirt—something I hadn’t experienced in months. It served as a reminder of how nursing evolves over time. Unlike the leaky, milk-filled days of his infancy, my body has changed. My breasts are soft now, and I can comfortably sleep on my stomach. I no longer wear nursing bras, and my body is gradually becoming my own again.
Occasionally, he seeks cuddles instead of nursing during nighttime awakenings, or he prefers a snack in the afternoon over our typical nursing session. While full weaning may still be some time away, I can see the transition happening in small ways.
I cherish these moments we share during nursing, though it also saddens me to realize they are fleeting. Here’s why I continue to breastfeed:
- I nurse him because his large hazel eyes meet mine during those quiet, rainy afternoons.
- I nurse him because he curls his soft body into my lap, his legs playfully kicking up toward my face.
- I nurse him because I also breastfed his older brother, who is becoming increasingly independent, and I miss those moments of closeness.
- I nurse him because it reminds me of watching my mother nurse my sister, where time seemed to slow down in those peaceful moments.
- I nurse him because it gives me a reason to pause and enjoy a break in our busy days.
- I nurse him because when he says, “Milkies, please,” it melts my heart to hear his sweet request.
- I nurse him because the joy of oxytocin floods through me as he nuzzles close.
- I nurse him because it allows us to linger in bed on weekends and after naps.
- I nurse him because it’s a simple way to soothe him to sleep and avert tantrums before they start.
- I nurse him because it’s mutually desired—he wants it, and I want it.
- I nurse him because I understand that this phase is temporary and will pass with time.
Not every moment of nursing is enjoyable; that would be unrealistic. During the wee hours when he tugs at my lips and eyelids, keeping me awake while everyone else sleeps, I sometimes wish he would let go. Yet, when he finally drifts off, snuggled against me with his unique scent filling the air, it feels like a shared secret in the cool night.
I don’t believe every parent should breastfeed toddlers, preschoolers, or older children. However, I recognize that extended breastfeeding is normal for many families. Suckling is a biological need that begins with nursing, and while some may not subscribe to the idea of breastfeeding beyond infancy, that’s perfectly fine.
What matters is that this arrangement feels right for us and for many other mothers and their children.
So, we continue to nurse.
Like this:
Jenna Anderson
And like this:
Jenna Anderson
This is our routine, our reasons. Our love.
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Summary:
This article discusses the author’s personal experience with extended breastfeeding, sharing the emotional and physical changes that come with nursing a toddler. It reflects on the unique bond created through breastfeeding and acknowledges the fleeting nature of this phase, emphasizing the importance of making choices that feel right for the family.