Updated: Jan. 29, 2021
Originally Published: Feb. 1, 2016
I recently stumbled upon the unexpected charm of sending my child to his room. Thank you, parenting gods! Disciplining my little one has never felt so straightforward.
“Stop that! Don’t say no to me! Head to your room!”
Ear-piercing wails
Angry footfalls
A furious toddler, red-faced, screams
Door slams
“Watch the door, young man!”
I understand that disciplining children isn’t meant to be this delightful, but I find myself secretly hoping my younger child does something worthy of being sent to his room too. Those precious five minutes allow me to catch up on sports scores or finally finish my coffee. I might even be tempted to invent new rules just to enforce that room time.
With great power comes great responsibility. But honestly, whoever said that didn’t have to throw toys outside to stop the endless bickering between my twins. My yard looks like a toy donation truck exploded in it.
At three years old, my twins have started rolling their eyes, muttering under their breath, hogging the TV remote, and saying the infamous “no” when asked to do something. These little threenagers are real and seem to have a sense of entitlement. Short of extreme measures or enrolling them in a strict discipline program, I’m searching for fair ways to parent without spending the whole day sounding like a howler monkey. This room-sending tactic has proven remarkably effective.
I get my five minutes of peace. They return with puffy cheeks and sniffles, asking for a hug. Sometimes, we even share ice cream while sorting through our feelings. Just kidding—no talking during ice cream time or they’ll be sent back to their rooms!
I adore my kids, even during the most challenging moments. I also prefer not to discipline them when I’m frustrated, and trust me, they certainly test my limits. This newfound ability to send them away to cool off and then have a discussion later is absolutely wonderful to me.
I’ve noticed positive changes, too. “No” doesn’t come up as often, or at least, it doesn’t lead to shouting matches and meltdowns.
“Can you help me with this, buddy?”
“No.”
“Well, if you choose not to, why don’t you head to your room for a bit?”
Child actually complies for the first time today!
I realize this won’t always be effective. Eventually, their room will no longer feel like a punishment. I can only hope that by then, the design of their “dungeon” is finished, and I can just send them there and check in every few days.
In a world where almost any parenting technique can be labeled as cruel, sending them to their room to reflect seems the least likely to attract unwanted attention from child services. It’s not a circle of essential oils and feelings, but it serves its purpose and provides a necessary retreat for both my child and me. Sometimes, all we need is a little space to continue cherishing one another.
Or at least for me to enjoy my coffee and recharge my patience.
This article was originally published on Feb. 1, 2016.
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Summary:
In this humorous reflection on parenting, Jenna shares her newfound strategy of sending her children to their room as a form of discipline. While navigating the challenges of raising three-year-old twins, she finds that this approach not only offers her a brief respite but also encourages better behavior and communication with her kids. The article highlights the balance between discipline and love, emphasizing the importance of taking a moment for oneself as a parent.