In my younger days, I was an avid photographer, capturing every significant moment of my life. My closet is now filled with albums brimming with memories, and my daughter takes delight in flipping through them. As she slowly turns the pages, she imagines the stories behind each snapshot.
One afternoon, I discovered her nestled in the closet, engrossed in the photographs. She was smiling at a picture of her father and me from our college days—a time that feels like a distant memory. When she noticed me, she paused and asked how long I’ve been with her dad. For a moment, I reflected on this question. Typically, I can answer in an instant, but this time felt different.
Considering that I have shared my life with the same person for over two decades is quite profound. “Sixteen years of marriage and four years of cohabitation,” I replied. In total, we’ve been together for more than 20 years without ever taking a break or stepping away from our relationship, even during tough times.
Despite the hurdles we’ve faced, we have always worked through them together. Of course, there have been moments when giving up seemed like the easier path. We’ve questioned our marriage and the strength of our love. There were nights when the thought of waking up apart crossed our minds. But through it all, we discuss our feelings openly, respecting one another’s space and emotions. I genuinely believe that our dedication to this mutual respect has fortified our bond.
Relationships can be challenging, and being present for someone during moments of frustration is even harder. This is where true strength is cultivated and love is both tested and reaffirmed. Throughout my life, I’ve come to understand several key principles that have helped sustain our relationship:
- We never walk away. While we may take breaks to cool down, leaving has never been an option.
- We practice the 3 Cs: compromise, communicate, and choose our battles wisely.
- Our differences are vast. Rather than viewing them as irritants, we celebrate our unique traits. Over the years, we’ve learned to appreciate how our contrasting personalities enhance our relationship.
- We argue, but we always find a resolution, even if it means agreeing to disagree.
- We are passionate and supportive of each other’s individual pursuits. While we enjoy activities together, we also thrive when engaging in our personal interests.
- I find solace in his embrace. Sometimes, words fail us, and all we need is the comfort of each other’s presence.
- Divorce is off the table. We view most problems as temporary, while divorce is a permanent solution.
- We’re committed for life. Over the years, we’ve matured and will continue to honor each other’s growth.
- We are best friends. This simple truth is likely the foundation of our enduring partnership.
- We acknowledge our faults. It took time, but we’ve learned that admitting when we’re wrong is much easier than holding onto pride.
- We gain wisdom from our conflicts. We’ve moved past holding grudges and instead focus on learning from our disagreements.
- We express love daily. We say “I love you” numerous times, even during moments of tension.
- We present a united front in parenting. If we disagree, we discuss it privately before addressing our children, ensuring they see us as a cohesive team.
- My body has transformed over the years. Regardless of how I feel about my appearance, he continues to see me as the most beautiful woman he knows.
- We still hold hands. This simple act remains one of the kindest gestures in our relationship.
In summary, I told my daughter that I have been with her father for over 20 years, and I truly believe he is my soulmate. Trust, commitment, friendship, honesty, and love are what define us. These elements shape our marriage and make it meaningful.
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