My 5-year-old has conjured up an imaginary friend named Salina—think Alice, but with an S. I can’t quite figure out where he got that name; as far as I know, there’s no Salina in any of the popular children’s shows.
After some gentle probing, I’ve discovered that Salina is older than my son, yet not “old enough to drive.” She sports purple hair styled in a braid reminiscent of Elsa’s and has an insatiable love for soup. I commend my child’s creativity, but honestly, I have several valid reasons for feeling that this imaginary companion is becoming a real-life nuisance.
1. It’s Just Frustrating
While I strive to welcome my children’s friends, this invisible guest seems to have taken permanent residence in my home. What am I supposed to do? Call her imaginary parents and say, “Hey, could you come pick up your kid?” Initially, I thought it would be amusing to indulge in this fantasy—what a mistake. I often find myself setting an extra plate at dinner and helping little she-who-cannot-be-seen buckle her seatbelt in our minivan. Yes, I serve imaginary meals on imaginary plates. I try to keep things under control.
By allowing this make-believe friend to enter our lives, I’ve inadvertently invited her to linger almost constantly in our home. I find myself tiptoeing around, avoiding the spot on the couch she seems to favor. To add salt to the wound, my son now relays Salina’s critiques on my house rules: mundane things like “clean your room” and “we don’t stand on the bookshelves.” Apparently, she thinks I should lighten up. Nice try, brat.
2. It’s Unsettling
Our home is relatively new, and while I don’t believe in ghosts, there’s an eerie vibe to all this. I secretly worry that my son might one day whisper, “I see dead people.” If that happens, I’ll probably faint. Although I convince myself that his imaginary friendship is harmless, I can’t shake the unease I feel when he chats with someone who isn’t there. Or is she? It gives me the chills. I also lie awake, hoping our neighborhood isn’t built on some ancient burial ground.
3. He Doesn’t Take Responsibility
My son’s imaginary friend seems to bear the brunt of blame for everything from sneaking cookies before dinner to the messes around the house, including a roll of toilet paper that was sacrificed in a misguided attempt to create a superhero cape. (And trust me, using TP for that is a terrible idea.) I understand that kids this age are testing limits, and while I get the temptation to blame an imaginary friend for real-life oopsies, I refuse to give him a free pass with “my friend did it.” So far, I haven’t given in, but he keeps trying, and I can’t help but worry.
4. I Fear Judgment from Others
So far, my son has good social skills and seems to interact well with his peers. I’ve never told him that his purple-haired friend isn’t real, nor have I criticized his imaginary relationship, even when she plops down on my favorite couch spot or jumps into our minivan uninvited when I’m in a hurry. I understand that having an imaginary companion is common for many kids.
But I can’t help but wonder if he feels some sort of emptiness that leads him to create someone like Salina. Will his teacher label him as “that kid” if she catches him passing imaginary notes? I might be overreacting, but I worry that others will think he’s odd and won’t want to play with him since he talks to thin air. Parenting a child who embraces uniqueness rather than conformity is a bittersweet journey. Right now, he’s navigating this with the help of an imaginary friend who brings him joy. While I’m still a bit uneasy about it, I remind myself that even his real-life friends can be a handful. At least this one is quieter.
For now, it seems Salina is here to stay. I doubt she’ll be around when he heads off to college, but if she is, I’ll just have to find a way to cope. After all, she’s my son’s friend, not mine. If only I could keep the creepy visions of twins from The Shining at bay, whispering, “Come play with us, Danny, forever, and ever, and ever.”
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In summary, while my child’s imaginary friend can often be a source of annoyance and discomfort, I understand that this phase is a part of his development, and I’ll navigate it as best as I can.