It was our first date night since the arrival of our little one, just 12 days prior. After enjoying a meal, we decided to make a quick stop at the store for some baby essentials while our son peacefully napped in his car seat, and the other five kids were hopefully asleep at home with a babysitter.
As we approached the checkout, a woman entered the line with her grandchild happily babbling away in the shopping cart. Her husband stood behind her. I had just lifted the cover on the car seat to peek at my new baby when she exclaimed, “Oh my goodness! You have a brand new baby!”
“Yes, ma’am,” I replied politely, while my husband finalized the payment and I turned to load the bags into the cart.
That’s when her husband chimed in, “Oh, looks like she’s got another one on the way!” He beamed with pride over his observation. I swear I heard her mutter “Uh-oh” as my husband and I exchanged glances, trying to stifle our laughter until we made it outside, where we finally burst into fits of giggles all the way home.
The next day, just 13 days postpartum, we stopped for an oil change at our regular spot, where you can stay in the car while they work. It was convenient, especially since we didn’t have to unbuckle kids or chase them around.
The attendant, familiar with my husband, assumed a friendly rapport with him and casually remarked, “See you soon, man,” then added, “Not you, I guess. I’ll see you after.”
My husband rolled up the window, trying not to laugh until he asked, “After what?” Some people just don’t get it.
But let’s not just put this down to men being oblivious. I recall a woman at the park just a week following my twin boys’ birth three years ago. They were born six weeks early, so while they were in the neonatal intensive care unit, we took our other boys out to enjoy some fresh air.
As the kids played, a mother of another little boy approached us. We chatted about my all-boy household, and soon she gestured towards my postpartum belly, asking, “Is this one a girl?”
I couldn’t help but laugh, knowing this would be a bit awkward. “Oh, no, I just had twin boys six days ago. They’re in the NICU right now,” I explained gently.
She nodded, but her next question was, “So, when are they due?” I had to reiterate my earlier point, and she quickly apologized before leaving in a hurry.
Years ago, when I had my first child, body image issues would have made these encounters sting. But now, I’ve come to understand the incredible transformation a woman’s body undergoes during pregnancy. After carrying a baby for nine months, the body needs time to recover; it’s not as simple as a quick snap back to normal. This process can take weeks or even months, and it’s common to still have a bit of a belly after giving birth.
So, when can you assume a woman is pregnant? The answer is never. However, if you’re feeling particularly brave and wish to take a guess, here are some signs to consider:
- She isn’t accompanied by a newborn.
- She tells you she’s expecting.
- She doesn’t mention just having had a baby.
If you’ve checked all those boxes, there’s one final indicator:
- She has a belly that resembles a large basketball, is clearly waddling, and today is her due date.
Beyond that, it’s best to keep your comments to yourself. Better to err on the side of caution.
For those interested in further exploring the journey to parenthood, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination at Resolve. For more information on home insemination kits, read this insightful post on Make a Mom. Additionally, learn from the experiences of pioneers like Louise Brown in the field of reproductive technology.
Summary:
This article humorously recounts the experiences of a mother navigating societal assumptions about post-pregnancy bodies. It emphasizes the importance of understanding the postpartum journey and the time required for recovery. It offers insights on when it’s appropriate to assume a woman is pregnant, while encouraging sensitivity and respect in such interactions.