My experience of religious upbringing was limited to vague references to a “higher power” responsible for the universe’s creation, receiving a children’s Bible from a distant relative that remained untouched, and hearing the simple phrase, “As long as you treat others well, that’s what truly matters.” What a radical idea.
I was never baptized, never taken to any religious services, and I did not receive guidance on belief systems. My parents, particularly my mother, who held strong religious beliefs herself, prioritized teaching me kindness over Catholic doctrine. They believed that instilling good values didn’t necessitate adherence to any specific religious teachings, so they refrained from imposing any.
My parents cared less about the religious rituals I may or may not partake in, focusing instead on nurturing my character and integrity. For some families, faith plays a vital role in this process; for mine, it was irrelevant. They understood that ethical behavior could thrive independent of religion, and they wanted me to carve my own path in life.
Now that I’ve reached adulthood, I appreciate my parents’ choice to allow me to discover my beliefs on my own. I’m not here to dictate how any parent should raise their child, religious or otherwise. However, if you’re curious about what a child raised without religion might turn out to be, I can assure you that I’ve developed a strong moral compass.
There’s a common misconception that a lack of religion equates to a lack of morals. “Alex,” people often say, “how can you have morals without a God?” Let me illustrate my perspective.
When I was eight, I witnessed a car accident right in front of my family while waiting at a red light. Without hesitation, my father parked the van and rushed into the chaos to assist the victims. He comforted one woman who was panicking. As the situation unfolded, other onlookers joined him in offering help.
As a child, I witnessed firsthand how one person’s compassion could positively impact another’s life. I remember the countless times I was encouraged to help others, to care for my neighbors, and to extend a hand when needed—lessons that, while common in many religious texts, I didn’t need a holy book to grasp.
When asked about my morals, I think back to that day when my father held the hand of a terrified woman through a shattered window. Whether or not a divine presence was there that day is uncertain, but I know my dad was.
From a young age, I learned that good deeds matter—not because of potential rewards or punishments in an afterlife, but because they can profoundly impact others in the present. My father’s actions during that traumatic event showed me what it meant to be a source of light in dark times. He reassured that woman she was not alone.
I grew up aspiring to be that light for others. My upbringing instilled in me a desire to do the right thing, not out of obligation to a higher power or ancient texts, but because how we treat each other ultimately shapes our world. Like my parents, I desired to create a society filled with kindness and empathy—without conditions or exceptions.
My parents often told me that my generation would inherit the earth and that every act of kindness or cruelty would contribute to the world we would create. That lesson has always stuck with me.
Contrary to the stereotype, I didn’t grow up feeling lost or without purpose. Instead, I was determined to be a force for positive change—the helping hand reaching through the glass, the calm voice amidst chaos.
So what does a child raised without religion believe? My brother has his own beliefs as a moderate Christian, while I, the so-called “liberal heathen,” find myself on the opposite side of the spectrum. (Turns out, a kid without religion can evolve into many different people.) Regardless of where we landed, I’m thankful that I was allowed to explore my own beliefs without them being dictated to me.
When I identify as an atheist, I often encounter discomfort or even hostility. But I’ve learned not to let it bother me. I’m too busy making an impact—fighting stigma around mental health so people don’t suffer in silence, creating inclusive spaces for LGBTQ individuals, advocating for equity, and educating myself and others about systemic injustice.
As my parents instilled in me from a young age, I’m dedicated to doing good and leaving the world a better place than I found it. For someone who supposedly lacks “real” morality, I’d say I’m doing just fine.
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In summary, my upbringing without religion has allowed me to forge my own beliefs and moral values, shaping me into an empathetic individual dedicated to making a difference in society.