When I first met my husband, he resided in a meticulously organized one-bedroom apartment. It was so spotless that I assumed he was a minimalist. Little did I know, he had a hidden storage unit that would soon reveal the true extent of his pack rat tendencies!
There were subtle hints along the way, like a prom mug from two decades ago filled with an assortment of cheap promotional pens on his desk. I overlooked this because I too have my moments of sentimentality. I’m known to keep items I rarely use, like the tags on clothes I can’t bear to wear and scented candles that have been collecting dust in the basement for what seems like eternity. I even get why someone might keep the protective film on their new phone for a few months to keep it looking pristine.
While I would categorize myself as a bit obsessive-compulsive—someone who likes to maintain the quality of my belongings—my husband has a different issue entirely. It’s what I like to call “The Save Everything From Your Whole Life Because One Day You Might Need It Syndrome.”
We’re not at the level of hoarding you see on reality TV, but his love for gadgets leads him to buy multiples of everything. Our home is equipped with a shop vacuum, a car vacuum, a handheld vacuum, a robot vacuum, and numerous other models that are now defunct but still kept for parts. My current vacuum? Oh, that was a spur-of-the-moment purchase from an infomercial he saw while flying—because he thought I’d adore all the attachments.
We also have air compressors suited for every situation—one for bikes, one for car tires, and one for inflating the air mattress we plan to use for camping… whenever we actually get around to buying a tent.
His closet is filled with stacks of V-neck sweaters he never wears, all gifts from his mother that have earned their place in our home. And don’t even get me started on wires! I should have realized the extent of his obsession when I discovered his high school yearbook, where he proudly quoted, “I dream of someday building a supercomputer.” Cables are everywhere—in boxes in the home office, crammed into our cars’ glove compartments, stuffed in junk drawers, and piled high in plastic bins in the garage. They’ve accompanied us through seven moves, been shuffled in and out of storage, and even made the trek when we relocated across the country.
USBs, HDMI cables, broken Christmas lights, outdated chargers—you name it, we probably have it. I’ve tried to declutter these wires multiple times. I leave small piles on his nightstand or by the bathroom sink, asking him, “Do you actually use these?” My personal motto is, “If it doesn’t have a name, it’s fair game—off it goes!” Yet, I’m met with replies like, “Yes, that’s a D2345699 coaxial cable. It’s useful to keep around.”
Useful? Sure, he tinkers with them. I often catch him in the attic, wrestling with wires, drilling holes in walls, or rewiring gadgets. Our thermostat connects to a laptop that links to a router and the cloud—all thanks to an elaborate web of wires.
And just when I thought it couldn’t escalate further, he introduced a miniature drone collection! I survived the model airplane obsession, but now we have transmitters and chargers monopolizing every outlet in the house. If one more quadcopter flies over my head in the living room, I might just break its blades and toss it out the window! But he’d likely just grab one of the thousands of tiny wrenches cluttering the garage and fix it.
Speaking of tools, if you ever need a fan, we have every type imaginable—oscillating, box, floor, and even window fans. My husband is a true fan enthusiast!
On the bright side, if an apocalypse ever strikes, we’ll have everything we need to survive—until the power goes out. Don’t even mention generators, or he’ll start hoarding those too!
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In summary, marrying a pack rat comes with its quirks, but it also means I’ll never have to worry about being unprepared for anything. However, the constant battle between keeping and tossing can be exhausting.