In today’s world, where social media oversharing, Pinterest perfectionism, and sensational headlines dominate, the question of what kind of mother you aspire to be becomes more complex than simply wanting to be “a good one.” The traditional concept of motherhood seems to have vanished, replaced by extreme parenting tribes that the internet promotes under catchy labels created by various writers.
These labels, such as “helicopter mom” or “tiger mom,” define parenting styles that can feel like a pressure cooker for many. On one end, there’s free-range parenting, while on the other, you have attachment parenting. But what about the majority of us who exist in the middle ground, without a trendy name to validate our approach?
I propose a new movement: Moderation Motherhood. It’s not glamorous, it won’t lead to a bestseller, and it likely won’t spark heated op-eds. Yet, it may resonate with many who are too tired, overwhelmed, or simply uninterested in committing to strict parenting philosophies. For those of us just trying to do our best, welcome to the ranks of Moderation Mothers.
Moderation, by nature, isn’t thrilling. It lacks the allure of quick fixes or a set of rules that guarantee success. While extreme parenting styles grab headlines and attention, moderation is often overlooked despite its practicality. In a culture where even toddlers can swipe through endless videos on YouTube, moderation is the unsung hero of parenting.
I practice moderate parenting. I introduce my children to letters, numbers, and the wonders of art and science, but I also rely on screens when I need a breather. I aim for healthy meals but won’t hesitate to swing by a fast-food joint when I crave a moment of peace with my Diet Coke while watching them play. I maintain a hands-off approach during playdates, allowing my older son to navigate his challenges, stepping in only when necessary.
Most parents share a common goal: wanting the best for their children. However, achieving that often requires substantial time, energy, and resources—things that are in short supply. Many days, rather than crafting magical moments, I simply aim to get through the daily grind. And that’s perfectly acceptable.
While I may not know where all my kids’ game pieces are, I do my best to keep their drawings safe, even if they aren’t perfectly organized. Though I take countless pictures, my last printing of photos was ages ago—“the baby is now two, and there’s just one picture of him displayed” kind of long. It’s not that I don’t want to create meticulously curated baby books or an impeccably arranged pantry; I just have more pressing matters, like laundry, dishes, and yes, catching some sleep.
Motherhood itself is a significant commitment. It transforms your mind, body, and relationships, leaving you responsible for nurturing and caring for another human being—not just until they reach kindergarten or turn eighteen, but for life. So, why adhere to rigid parenting rules? Why stress over creating Instagram-worthy meals or quiz them on foreign languages during summer break? Moderation Motherhood encourages you to give yourself permission to let some things go—and, dare I say it, to actually enjoy the experience of parenting.
Being a parent is no small feat, but as a Moderation Mother, you do the best you can. And I, a humble writer, believe that’s more than enough.
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In summary, Moderation Motherhood offers an inclusive approach to parenting that embraces the chaos and imperfections of everyday life while prioritizing the joy of the experience.