Updated: Jan. 10, 2023
This morning, I spent nearly 10 minutes observing my 2-year-old struggle to put on her sock. She constantly got the edge caught between her toes. When I tried to lend a hand, she resisted fiercely, showcasing her budding independence. “I can do it!” she insisted, her little brow knitted in concentration. And so, the slowest sock application in history continued.
Both of my little ones are slow, but one takes the cake for being particularly sluggish. In fact, there are plenty of things that move faster than she does, including:
- Molasses
- Anything simmering in a slow cooker
- Lines at the DMV
- The phases of the moon
- Three-toed sloths (who clock in at a maximum of 10 feet per minute, which is about 8 feet faster than my child)
- The rewind function on a VHS player
- Global warming
- The first half of Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”
- The British line of succession
- Me tackling my laundry pile
- Pregnancy
- A decade
- The Tour de France
- Evolution
- The decomposition of a Keurig K-cup
This isn’t limited to just getting dressed; it spans everything from brushing teeth to eating and even getting out of the car (oh, the struggle!). It feels like the Earth completes its orbit around the sun in less time than it takes for my little one to transition from her car seat to the ground.
Nothing has tested my patience quite like the leisurely pace at which my toddlers operate. I can only hope that by the time they reach adulthood, their speed will be comparable to the rate of global warming. For more on the journey of parenthood and resources like the cryobaby home intracervical insemination syringe kit combo, check out our other blogs. For those navigating advanced paternal age, this link is an excellent place to find more information. Additionally, this blog offers invaluable insights into pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, the slow pace of toddlers can be both amusing and frustrating for parents. With a little patience and humor, we can navigate these moments and enjoy the journey.