As a mother nearing 50, I find myself in a unique situation: I have a child in college, one in high school, two in middle school, and a first grader. It seems I might be the oldest mom in my youngest child’s class, and I suspect the other mothers view me with a mix of curiosity and perhaps a bit of fear. Is it my wrinkles that intimidate them? Or my retro ’80s fashion choices? Maybe it’s my no-nonsense attitude—after all, I have a million other priorities besides stressing over who will snag the lead in the first grade’s rendition of “Mary Poppins” (please, not my kid!). But they shouldn’t be afraid; they should want to befriend me, because older moms can be the best parenting allies. Here’s why:
We Don’t Judge
First off, we’re simply too worn out to judge. We’ve been through the trenches ourselves and understand the chaos of parenting. Whether it’s the double-stuffed Oreos or orange Cheez Doodles you packed in your kid’s lunch, we won’t bat an eye. We recognize that lice can happen to anyone and we won’t judge when your daughter shows off her newfound twerking skills or your son drops a colorful word on the playground.
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We won’t care if your child’s socks don’t match or if their pants are too short. Your messy house? Not a problem. We understand the struggle of sniffing clothes to see if they are clean enough for another wear, and we won’t judge when you pass off store-bought cupcakes as homemade at the bake sale. Your son in a sparkly tiara or your daughter in combat boots? We’ve seen it all.
We won’t criticize when your child innocently shares that they heard loud noises from your bedroom, or when you “forget” it’s your turn for cafeteria duty. We get it if you send your runny-nosed child to school because you simply can’t face another day with those roots. We know the PTA dance can be a little wild, and we won’t judge you for cutting loose and doing the Harlem Shake with the principal.
And when your child throws spitballs during assembly or makes an unexpected revelation about where babies come from, we’ll just smile knowingly. We won’t even flinch when your once-perfect Cub Scout gets caught in less-than-ideal situations as a teenager.
Most importantly, as we age and start to develop our own wrinkles, we understand that this is just part of life. We won’t judge you because we’re older, and we’ve been through it all ourselves.
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Summary
Older mothers have much to offer as friends and allies in parenting. With years of experience, they bring a non-judgmental perspective that can foster a supportive community among parents. By embracing the friendships of older moms, you can find companionship and understanding throughout the parenting journey.