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I will refrain from saying, “I’ve been through that.”
This phrase has been uttered by friends and even strangers, and it’s as unhelpful as it is annoying. Once, while I was in a store with my three kids wailing, a random person felt compelled to share her experience. Did that stop my kids from their meltdown? Absolutely not. Instead, it made me want to unleash a tornado of craft supplies on her. While I managed to mumble something about my children being upset, I certainly wished I could have added, “please be quiet!” but that would have been too harsh—just like her comment.
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I won’t offer unsolicited advice.
You won’t find me dropping by with “helpful” articles, emailing parenting tips, or gifting you a subscription to a parenting magazine unless it’s on your wish list. If you’re exhausted and mention how sleep-deprived you feel, I won’t bombard you with sleep training books. Your struggles are yours, and if you’re that tired, you’ve likely read everything there is to know about getting kids to sleep.
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I will not compete with your stories.
If you’re sharing a tough day, like when your child brings home lice, I won’t jump in with a tale of when all my kids had lice, followed by a stomach bug, a dog mishap, and a serious mess to clean up. It’s not about who has it worse. Relating your struggles won’t make you feel better but may instead leave you wanting to kick me in the shins.
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I won’t point out your child’s lack of shoes—or clothes, for that matter.
I won’t mention if they seem hungry, tired, or overwhelmed. You’re their parent, and I trust that you are doing your best. However, if your little one decides to investigate their diaper and produce a surprise, I’ll definitely step in and offer some assistance; after all, I’ve been there and done that.
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I will not tell you to cherish every single moment.
When your toddler mistakes your shoulder for a chew toy during a serious chat with the pediatrician, that’s not going in the scrapbook. Moments like grocery store meltdowns or sleepless nights won’t be your fondest memories, and I won’t guilt you into cherishing them. It’s okay not to love every second of this journey.
These are my steadfast commitments to you—all of you navigating this wild ride of motherhood. Best of luck,
The woman who didn’t cherish every moment, despised unsolicited advice, and almost kicked someone in the shins.
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Summary:
In this article, the author shares five promises to future mothers, focusing on empathy and understanding rather than judgment or unsolicited advice. The commitments include refraining from trivializing others’ experiences, avoiding competition in storytelling, respecting parental choices, and acknowledging that not every moment in parenting is cherished.