“I’m halfway to adulthood,” you remarked this morning, and my heart sank at the weight of your words. It feels like just yesterday you were a tiny bundle in my arms, my cherished boy and my first. I saw the realization dawn on your face, and you quickly added, “It’s fine. I’ll take my time.” But deep down, I know you won’t, my dear boy. Like all children, you will yearn to grow up, and I’ll watch the next nine years pass as swiftly as the last nine. Soon, you’ll be off on your own journey. There’s a mix of thrill and sorrow in this experience, especially with the child who first filled our lives with laughter and joy.
What many don’t realize is that when you were born, I was reborn too. You and I share a birthday—yours marking your arrival into this world, and mine heralding the start of a vibrant new life that blossomed because of you.
The First Adventure
Being the eldest son isn’t always easy. You were our first adventure in parenting, and your father and I were navigating uncharted waters when you entered our lives. You are a whirlwind of energy and spirit, teaching us through trial and error what it truly means to raise a child. In the chaos you brought, we discovered who we are as parents and how to love unconditionally.
That’s not to diminish your brothers, but you were the first—the first to fill our crib, the first whose smile resonated so deeply that it echoed “adored” in our hearts. You were the one who could make us feel joy one moment and frustration the next as we grappled with our own limitations.
You pushed boundaries, challenging everything we thought we understood about parenting. In those moments of chaos and uncertainty, we learned to embrace the love that ultimately defined our family. We learned to navigate the tumultuous waters of doubt and hope, and to let go of the need to control every aspect of your life.
Lessons Learned
Of course, we made mistakes—plenty of them. For that, I deeply apologize. But there’s one thing I need to address that goes beyond a simple “sorry.” Stay with me for a moment.
During my pregnancy, I found humor in your spirited kicks while frantically reading parenting books, hoping to find some semblance of preparation. Initially, we leaned toward authoritarian methods because that was all we knew. It wasn’t until four years later that we truly began to understand. In those early days, we ignored emotions while telling you to acknowledge your own. We yelled about hitting while simultaneously instructing you not to hit. Do better than we do—that’s what we expected from you, even as a child.
How could those contradictions not leave a mark on your young heart?
Then, one day, I opened a book by Paul Ekman about reading emotions, and I recognized your eyes in the illustrations. They were different—darker and smaller—but unmistakably yours. The caption read: Despair. A little boy in a little body crying out for understanding and support.
That day changed everything. I fell to my knees and whispered, “We need a better way.” That moment ignited a journey of discovery for us, one that involved years of research into parenting methods that were compassionate and effective. Though we weren’t perfect, we began to see the spark return to your eyes. Instead of despair, you sometimes wore anger or sadness, but often your expression was filled with joy.
We began to communicate more openly, accepting all emotions rather than just the convenient ones. We held you close when you felt overwhelmed, repeating the reassuring words you needed to hear: “This is hard. I am here. You are safe.”
Celebrating You
Now, as we celebrate your 9th birthday, you are transitioning from a little boy into a young man. I am endlessly proud of who you are becoming. I’m still as captivated by your smile and voice as I was on that day you entered the world, five days early, smelling of the eucalyptus lotion that had softened my hands. You are my beloved firstborn, my spirited one, deeply loved just for being you.
As you embark on this next chapter of your life, remember that you have the power to shape the world around you. And for those considering the journey of parenthood, there are invaluable resources available. Check out this excellent guide on pregnancy and home insemination at World Health Organization. If you’re interested in more about artificial insemination, our post on cryobaby at home insemination kit offers great insights. Additionally, the experts at embracing the journey of multiples can provide clarity on this wonderful path.
In Summary
In summary, being a firstborn carries its unique challenges and rewards. While it can be a rocky road, the love and lessons learned along the way shape not just the child, but also the parents in profound ways.