If you’re a parent, there’s a good chance you’re dealing with a rather prevalent condition that many might not even recognize. Don’t worry; I’m here to shed some light on it.
Let’s flash back to 2012. It’s 8:30 a.m., I’m dressed in stylish clothes that are free from stains, and I’m poised to meet a friend for breakfast before embarking on a shopping spree for clothes I don’t even need. Back then, I felt good about my morning appearance.
Fast forward to 2015, and here’s what I look like at 8:30 a.m:
So, what’s behind this transformation? Besides my absence from a tanning bed (I’m recovering from that addiction), I’m grappling with a very common condition known as Parental Disorder.
Those of us affected by this disorder often put our personal appearance on the back burner, among other symptoms. Below are some telltale signs that you might also be experiencing Parental Disorder. Grab some tissues and read on.
- You’re Clueless about ‘Netflix and Chill.’
When your partner invites you to “Netflix and Chill,” you enthusiastically agree. But when they approach you with romantic intentions, you’re confused, shouting, “I just want to watch Netflix and CHILL!” The reality is, you’ve missed the memo that this phrase has taken on a whole new meaning. - Your Conversational Skills Disappear After 8 p.m.
After finally landing a babysitter and attending a work event, you find yourself showcasing your child’s latest school photos instead of engaging in meaningful conversations. As the clock ticks closer to 8 p.m., your yearning to be back home, lounging in comfy clothes while watching videos of your kids becomes overwhelming. Eventually, you’ll excuse yourself and head home. - Your Vehicle is All About Space and Efficiency.
When shopping for a new car, practicality trumps all else. Your only concern is how many kids, car seats, and sports gear can fit into the vehicle. The color and style don’t matter as long as it can transport your little ones and their friends. You might end up with a minivan that resembles a certain unpleasant item, but you’re just thrilled about the space it offers! - Your Social Media is a Child-Centric Gallery.
While your friends post about vacations and achievements, your feed is filled with pictures of your children’s adorable faces. You use hashtags like #sorrynotsorry and #cutenessoverload because, let’s face it, everything else pales in comparison to your little ones. - Online Sales Excite You Like Major Holidays.
You eagerly await online sales days such as Amazon Prime Day, marking them on your calendar. Once the day arrives, you’re often disappointed by the selection and vent your frustrations on Facebook. “Thanks for nothing, Amazon!” you might exclaim, although there’s always that one soft robe that catches your eye. - You Prefer Casual Dinners at Home.
Dining out feels like an unnecessary hassle when you’re affected by Parental Disorder. Why pay for a meal that your toddler will likely ignore? A simple dinner at home seems far more appealing. Plus, if luck is on your side, maybe you’ll have a moment to indulge in leftover snacks after the kids are asleep. - Your Ideal Ladies’ Night is a Cozy In.
When your friends suggest a night out, you secretly long for a gathering at someone’s home where you can lounge in oversized sweatpants. Those with Parental Disorder find comfort in familiar settings, away from loud bars and uncomfortable shoes. - Coffee is Essential to Your Survival.
No need to elaborate here; if you know, you know.
If any of this resonates with you, you may also be experiencing Parental Disorder. But don’t worry; studies suggest that those affected by this condition often lead happy and fulfilling lives. Consider yourself #blessed.
For those seeking more insights into fertility and parenting, check out Make a Mom’s guide to home insemination and 5 essential facts about fertility. Also, for comprehensive resources on pregnancy and home insemination, visit NHS’s IVF page.
Summary
Parental Disorder is a common condition that affects many parents, characterized by a shift in priorities away from personal appearance and social interactions. Symptoms can include confusion over modern dating phrases, a preference for home-cooked meals, and a strong attachment to one’s children on social media. Understanding this disorder can help parents navigate the challenges of parenthood while embracing the joys that come with it.