Updated: June 30, 2017
Originally Published: Dec. 24, 2015
If I had truly grasped the depths of sleep deprivation before becoming a parent…
If I had been aware of the overwhelming volume of bodily fluids I would end up cleaning during my children’s formative years…
If I had understood how incessantly hearing “Mom? Mom? Mom?” would wear on my last nerve after a decade…
If I had known that I would sometimes linger in the bathroom just to steal a few moments of solitude…
If I had realized that those brief toilet respites would often be interrupted by tiny fists knocking on the door…
If I had anticipated the countless repetitions of the same instructions and corrections…
If I had foreseen that every “expert” solution for whining, crying, defiance, and laziness would often fall flat…
If I had known that loving my children wouldn’t always equate to liking them…
If I had predicted that I would occasionally break down in the shower, seeking a moment alone to let it all out…
If I had been aware that I would feel so physically touched-out some days that the thought of intimacy with my husband would seem unappealing…
If I had recognized that full concentration on any task would become an elusive goal…
If I had known that the challenges wouldn’t necessarily lessen as my kids grew older, but merely shift in nature…
If I had realized how often I’d feel the weight of inadequacy in my parenting…
If I had grasped the relentless nature of parenting…
I would still have chosen to have children.
Because if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have experienced the miracle of nurturing a tiny being into a fully formed person within my own body.
I wouldn’t have discovered that the scent of a newborn’s head is one of life’s sweetest fragrances.
I wouldn’t have known the enchantment of cradling a baby as they drift off to sleep, never wanting to let go.
I wouldn’t have felt the unparalleled joy of witnessing my child take their first steps, use the potty, ride a bike, or read a book independently.
I wouldn’t have understood how the sound of my child’s laughter can lift even the heaviest of burdens.
I wouldn’t have felt the power of an innocent, wide-eyed gaze that melts my heart.
I wouldn’t have realized the incredible journey of watching a person unfold that I helped bring into the world.
I wouldn’t have felt pride in seeing my children tackle challenges using the skills I’ve instilled in them.
I wouldn’t have known the pure, unfiltered joy that comes with their triumphs.
I wouldn’t have recognized the unexpected grace found in the constant endeavor to be a better parent.
I wouldn’t have understood how parenting could help mend my own childhood wounds.
I wouldn’t have known that immersing myself in motherhood would lead to discovering a more profound version of myself.
I wouldn’t have appreciated the warmth of being loved in a way only a mother knows.
I wouldn’t have felt the fierce and raw power of a mother’s love.
And I wouldn’t have realized that the struggles along the way are ultimately overshadowed by the beauty and wonder of the experience.
If I had been fully aware of what motherhood entailed, I would have embarked on this journey all over again (though I would definitely have slept more when I had the chance).
For more insights into the world of home insemination, check out our post on the At Home Insemination Kit for a comprehensive guide. Additionally, if you’re looking for affordable ways to conceive, visit this resource for key insights into at-home insemination. For a thorough understanding of pregnancy and home insemination, the CDC offers an excellent compilation of information.
Summary:
This reflection captures the paradoxes of motherhood, highlighting the joys and challenges that come with parenting. While the journey may be fraught with difficulties, the love and miracles of nurturing a child ultimately make it all worthwhile.