Right after our wedding celebration, I turned to my husband and said, “Let’s start a family.” And that’s precisely what we did—three little ones joined our lives in quick succession. The journey of being married with children has reshaped our household in countless ways.
These days, our “dirty talk” consists of inquiries like, “What is that horrible smell? Didn’t you just change him?” or “You’re sporting some baby spit on your beard,” and “Why did you let her eat that booger?” Foreplay? It’s now just a playful eyebrow raise. Time is always at a premium.
In this new dynamic, one of us becomes the playful parent while the other takes on the role of the strict one. These roles aren’t set in stone, but the kids usually know who to approach for fun versus discipline. The fun parent gets to hear requests like, “Can we go for ice cream?” or “Will you help me build a booby trap?” Meanwhile, the disciplinarian deals with the not-so-fun stuff, such as handling tattling. Disagreements may arise, but generally, we’re grateful for each other’s contributions, recognizing that the other has the harder role.
Songs that remind us of our early dating days trigger knowing glances, even if they’re exchanged over a diaper change while we juggle a pacifier. It’s amusing how my partner can sense my PMS a week in advance; my emotions run high post-babies, and I feel guilty about it. He adjusts to my mood swings silently—he values his well-being too much.
Even though we try not to keep score, it’s hard not to. We remind each other about the last time one of us took the dog out or wiped a child’s bottom. We even play competitions like “Let’s See Who Can Stall the Longest on Taking Out the Trash.” But then, one of us does something incredibly sweet, and suddenly, those little arguments seem insignificant—so I take out the trash (even though I was the last to do it).
When one of us is running low on patience, the other instinctively rises to the occasion, ensuring everything stays harmonious. They’ve seen you at your worst and want to protect you and the kids, but more than anything, they aim to lift you up.
We can easily tell when our spouse is truly asleep versus when they’re pretending, especially during those nights when one child is sick or having nightmares. Sometimes, we nudge them awake; other times, we plot our revenge.
On the rare occasions we can’t find a babysitter but need a moment together, we might put the kids to bed early after a quick dinner of chicken nuggets. We’ll then whip up steaks and risotto, share a slice of apple pie, and talk about how amazing our kids are.
We fondly reminisce about our honeymoon and pre-kids travels but also feel a rush of excitement when planning a family trip reminiscent of our childhood experiences.
When our little one drops a curse word, we exchange wide-eyed looks, each waiting for the other to address it, but neither of us does—it’s simply too hilarious.
Every milestone becomes a shared adventure—the first bath, first steps, and even the first time using the potty. If one of us misses out, we’re quick to grab our phones, knowing the other will share in our excitement.
There’s a special tap we give each other in those moments when one of the kids does something incredibly cute or clever, signaling, “Look, but don’t let them know we’re watching, or they’ll stop!”
Watching non-kid shows has transformed into a scandalous date night. The anticipation builds all day, and once the children are in bed, we indulge in all the content we usually shield them from. It feels so luxurious.
Ultimately, marriage with kids creates a sense of home. You partner with someone you truly love, navigating new experiences together. You may stumble along the way, but occasionally you shine brilliantly as a team. What counts are those date nights, shared milestones, supporting each other, and those eyebrow wiggles. And when the kids have grown and left, we’ll likely still share a slice of pie, reminiscing about how brilliant they are.
For couples navigating their own family journey, check out this post for helpful insights. To find the best kids’ alarm clocks, visit this expert guide. If you’re interested in learning more about artificial insemination, this Wikipedia page is an excellent resource.
In summary, marriage and parenthood come with their own set of challenges and rewards. The dynamics shift as you navigate the chaos, but the love and partnership remain at the core of your family life.