My 9-Year-Old Still Believes in Imaginary Friends, and I Support It

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It’s late, and I find myself scribbling a note in the dim light of my daughter’s room, trying to capture the whimsical charm of fairy script. “Keep playing your beautiful music. I adore the outfits you designed for me!” I sign it with a flourish: “E” for Elowen, a name that popped into my head during an evening of creative indulgence. I tuck the note into the fairy house we made together. As I return to bed, I can’t help but notice my husband’s raised eyebrows as he turns off the light, clearly unimpressed with my commitment to this fantasy.

In a world where imagination thrives, my 9-year-old holds onto a considerable list of mythical beings she believes to be real—Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, leprechauns, and even our Elf on the Shelf, named Milo. My husband, despite his skepticism, has been a good sport about stepping into the shoes of these legendary figures. He’s the mastermind behind the “Santa caught on camera” stunt and remembers to slip coins under pillows for lost teeth. He’s even played up the drama when a tooth fell out just before Christmas, joking about the chaos that might ensue if the Tooth Fairy crossed paths with Milo.

But Elowen is a new addition to our family lore, one that doesn’t tie to any traditional beliefs. My husband fails to see that her presence is crucial as my daughter edges closer to her tween years. As she navigates the emotional upheaval of growing up, I worry about becoming that oblivious parent who thinks she’s being helpful but ends up frustrating her child instead. To counter this, I purchased a mother/daughter journal, designed to promote open and honest communication without the misinterpretations that often arise in conversation. We made some progress, taking turns writing to one another.

Then, after buying a new pair of shoes, my daughter became fascinated with the shoebox they came in. “I want to create a fairy house!” she declared. Naturally, I obliged; kids love crafting, and her enthusiasm was infectious. The once-simple box transformed into a magical abode complete with windows, cozy furniture made of tissues, and even tiny dresses. She left a note inside for the fairy, inviting her to visit and share her name. One night, I decided to answer her plea in the playful spirit of imagination. Elowen responded in delicate fairy writing, reinforcing the joy of believing in magic.

While my husband may not fully endorse this fairy tale, I take solace in the scientific perspective that supports my approach. Jacqueline Woolley, a psychology professor at the University of Texas at Austin, noted in a Huffington Post article that engaging with the line between reality and fantasy fosters creativity and innovation—essentially the foundation of scientific discovery.

So, I’m nurturing a dreamer, and I cherish that. However, my reasons for keeping the Elowen correspondence alive are deeply personal. The messages exchanged are heartfelt; Elowen offers insights about my daughter’s talents and triumphs as she transitions into this complex stage of life. As my daughter starts to drift away emotionally, she often dismisses my praise. Yet, when Elowen commends her piano skills or acknowledges her hard work, it lights up her face. Even though she’s never seen Elowen and has no proof of her existence, this imaginary friend’s words resonate more profoundly than mine. If I can’t convey my admiration directly, I’ll let this enchanting messenger do the talking—even if she is a fictional fairy with a penchant for a good glass of wine.

I know this magical existence won’t last forever. I’ve entertained the thought of having Elowen provide guidance on more serious topics as my daughter matures—perhaps addressing sex education, peer pressure, or even fashion advice. Yet, the day will come when my daughter uncovers the truth behind Elowen, and it will be just me, her mother, trying to impart wisdom and love in a way that feels authentic.

Until that time arrives, I will continue to nurture this charade. I will watch her delight as she discovers another note from her secret friend—a friend who is patient, observant, and dedicated to celebrating her every success.

In a world where imagination is often overshadowed by reality, I choose to encourage my daughter’s belief in magic. After all, it’s these fleeting moments that create lasting memories, and I’ll hold onto them as long as I can. For more insights on parenting and creativity, check out this engaging article on home insemination kits, or explore thoughtful gift ideas for everyone in the family at this resource. For reliable information on fertility and family planning, visit this excellent resource.

Summary:

In a heartwarming reflection, a mother shares her experience of nurturing her 9-year-old daughter’s belief in imaginary friends, specifically a fairy named Elowen. While some may see this as a fantasy, the mother sees it as a vital part of her daughter’s emotional development in an increasingly complex world. Through imaginative play and correspondence, they foster a connection that transcends typical parent-child interactions. The mother embraces the magic of childhood while acknowledging that this phase won’t last forever.