When I discovered I was expecting, my first step was to share the news with my partner. Shortly after, I made an appointment with a social worker I had previously seen during my graduate studies, as I was aware that I was at a heightened risk for postpartum depression (PPD) and anxiety.
I had come to terms with the idea that managing depression and anxiety would be a lifelong endeavor. There were times of relief, but also moments of relapse, a cycle I had learned to approach with a sense of calm. My personal mantra during tougher times became about simplifying my to-do list, allowing for more self-care, and refraining from self-blame. Just as one wouldn’t fault themselves for a Crohn’s flare-up or diabetes, I chose kindness towards myself, which helped me maintain balance.
However, the prospect of experiencing PPD during my pregnancy felt daunting. The information I found focused primarily on negative outcomes for infants and distressing stories about mothers who had harmed their babies. I was filled with concerns about my ability to bond with my child and provide adequate care.
Now, at nine months postpartum, I can affirm that I am living with postpartum depression and anxiety as expected. Yet, it has not been the catastrophic force I had feared. Like any form of depression, it can be managed. Thus, I grant myself permission to embrace my PPD.
1. Trust Your Baby
A wise nurse in the postnatal ward advised me to trust my instincts and my baby. After numerous anxious trips to the nursing station, she reminded me to observe my baby’s cues—if she seemed well, then she likely was. Babies are not known for hiding their feelings.
2. Take Time to Bond
The transition from pregnancy to motherhood was an adjustment for both my baby and me. We needed time to learn each other as separate beings. The early days were spent figuring out how to care for one another, which is a vital part of bonding.
3. Stop the Midnight Googling
Anxiety led me to irrational fears, like believing my baby had hip dysplasia due to uneven leg rolls. I realized that turning to my phone in the middle of the night wasn’t helpful. Instead, I began calling my pediatrician or a 24-hour health line for reassurance, which provided me much needed comfort.
4. Accept Help from Friends
My struggles with depression and anxiety initially made me hesitant to reach out for support. Thankfully, I resisted that urge. Having friends help with household tasks during the early chaotic weeks was essential. They not only assisted in the home but also provided valuable social interaction, lifting my spirits.
5. Keep the Long View
Fatigue and a lack of appetite were frequent companions in my postpartum journey. On particularly tough days, finding the motivation to rise from bed felt monumental. However, I remind myself to focus on the bigger picture. My daughter enjoys a full day of play, laughter, and nurturing, which is what truly matters.
I’m grateful that my fears surrounding PPD did not deter me from embracing motherhood with my beautiful daughter. Although postpartum depression is a reality, our bond is unwavering. With treatment and support, we will navigate this journey together.
For those interested in fertility options, this resource offers excellent insights. And if you’re considering home insemination, check out this post for more details. It’s also crucial to safeguard your fertility today, as being informed can make a significant difference.
Summary
Embracing the reality of postpartum depression can be daunting, yet it’s a manageable aspect of motherhood. By trusting your instincts, allowing time for bonding, seeking help, and focusing on the long-term joys of parenting, you can navigate this journey with love and patience. Remember, you are not alone, and there are resources available to support you.