Since welcoming our newest family member, Little J, just two months ago, I’ve repeatedly posed the same inquiry to every mother of two or more I’ve encountered: How do you manage to put a baby to sleep amidst the chaos of a spirited toddler? Responses varied from putting on the TV for a few minutes to training your baby to doze off despite the commotion. While these suggestions might work for many families, I eventually recognized that such techniques simply wouldn’t suit our household. Somehow, perhaps due to my children’s grandfathers, I ended up with two little ones who are deeply afflicted by FOMO.
What’s FOMO, you may wonder? According to Urban Dictionary, it stands for “fear of missing out.” My eldest, Max, has experienced it significantly (we’ve managed to tame it somewhat), and now it appears that our darling Little J is following suit.
However, it’s not all doom and gloom. The first step is acknowledgment. Recognizing that your baby suffers from FOMO equips you with the knowledge to anticipate their behaviors and implement strategies to mitigate the challenges. Luckily, we identified this tendency early in Little J, offering a glimmer of hope for managing it effectively.
Signs Your Baby May Have FOMO
- You chuckle at all the parenting guides suggesting to put your baby down “drowsy but awake.” FOMO babies transition from cheerful and alert to utterly furious before finally succumbing to sleep—there’s no middle ground.
- FOMO babies show no signs of tiredness until it’s too late. Your baby might spend the day bright-eyed and giggling, then suddenly become overtired before you realize it. If you spot a yawn, brace yourself for an arduous hour and a half of attempting to get them to sleep.
- Getting a FOMO baby to sleep can take hours. You’ll rock, bounce, shush, pat, swaddle, sing, and hum until your arms ache and your voice is hoarse, yet your baby will continue to stare at you wide-eyed.
- FOMO babies won’t “sleep on the go.” You’d never buy one of those car mirrors, as you’d prefer to remain blissfully unaware that your baby has been awake the entire hour it takes to reach Grandma’s house. Unfortunately, your toddler is too honest: “Is she asleep?” “NO, baby J not asleep!”
- FOMO babies resist sleeping in unfamiliar places. Planning a visit to Grandma’s or a family vacation? Prepare for zero napping. Your baby, who just entered the world, surely wouldn’t want to miss out on all the excitement around them.
- FOMO babies won’t fall asleep while breastfeeding. Despite your caffeine deprivation since before pregnancy, your baby will pop off the breast as if they’ve just had a shot of espresso, determined to stay in the action.
- FOMO babies quickly learn your sleep routine and will protest it vocally. Sadly, this resistance often continues well into their toddler years. But don’t worry; they’ll probably be happy to sleep the whole day away when they hit their teenage years.
- A lengthy “sleep routine” only energizes FOMO babies. Long baths won’t relax them; they’ll interpret baby massages as tickle fights. Trust me: Keep it brief.
- FOMO babies are light sleepers. Blackout curtains and sound machines become your best allies. They won’t sleep through noise no matter how hard you try to train them. My son, Max, spent his early days in a bustling city, but that didn’t help—he just never slept.
- FOMO babies fight sleep with all their might. You might think you’ve won when their eyes start to droop, only for them to suddenly open wide with renewed energy. Don’t make eye contact; a single glance from you can power them for another three hours of wakefulness.
- FOMO babies are possibly smarter. Okay, I’m not sure if this is factual, but you need to tell yourself something to avoid pulling out your already thinning hair trying to get these kids to sleep.
If you find yourself relating to most of these traits, it’s likely your baby is grappling with a serious case of FOMO. Fortunately, your situation isn’t hopeless. Simply find the darkest room in your home, crank up some white noise to the max, and prepare to stay in there for about one to two years.
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Summary
Navigating the challenges of a baby with a serious case of FOMO can be daunting yet manageable. By recognizing their unique sleep patterns and behaviors, you can better prepare for the adventure of parenting. From prolonged bedtime routines to their refusal to sleep in unfamiliar settings, understanding these traits is crucial. With patience and the right strategies, you can help your FOMO baby find the sleep they need.