Let’s be honest. We all know your child didn’t craft that project from the tree in your yard, so there’s really no need to pretend otherwise. And about that campaign poster you had printed for your child’s third-grade election—seriously? Surely, you realize that your kid was supposed to create their own using classroom supplies, right?
It must be challenging for teachers to evaluate assignments when they suspect that the parents did all the heavy lifting. They can often tell within moments if the child contributed anything beyond their signature. These educators work closely with our kids and know their individual capabilities well. So, why do some parents think they can slip one past them?
I can’t fathom why parents would choose to do their children’s homework. Isn’t the primary purpose of schooling to cultivate independent thinkers? School is meant to be a platform for kids to develop their intellect, explore ideas, and learn. How will they achieve that if you’re doing everything for them?
When I was in elementary school, I had a science project focused on the wheel and axle. It was the only time my father offered to assist me, and he rushed to the hardware store to gather materials. Without hesitation, he took me to his workshop to build it together. As a child, I relished any attention from him, and when he took charge with power tools, I didn’t dare stop him. The result? An A+ on the project, but what I truly learned that day was how controlling my father could be. The evidence of his effort still hangs in his workshop.
It’s counterproductive to “help” by taking over; it only complicates matters. Kids will make mistakes and color outside the lines. They will procrastinate and argue about homework, but ultimately, it’s their responsibility to complete it. While wanting to help your child succeed is natural, handing them the answers isn’t success—it’s disappointing.
When you sign those discharge papers at the hospital after giving birth, there’s immense pride in that moment. In the early years, your child requires gentle guidance and unconditional love. But as they grow, they’ll need you less, which can be hard to accept. Parents often instinctively finish their child’s sentences or simplify problems to get the right answer. Yet, how does that teach them to be self-sufficient?
My daughter attends an exceptional school with ambitious goals. We chose this environment for its small classes, global curriculum, and problem-based learning strategies. We feel privileged to be part of this mission. However, the foundation of this culture relies heavily on our children, which can be troubling when I see parents still controlling every aspect. It makes me want to shake them and say it’s time to loosen the reins, but their ignorance is alarming.
In one school hallway, there’s a mirrored wall where teachers share inspirational quotes. At the start of the school year, a teacher wrote, “The sky is the limit” in bold letters. Below, a student replied, “Why do I need a limit?”
When you challenge a child’s potential, you’ll discover that the only limits are those you impose at home. Perhaps it’s time to rethink your approach.
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In summary, while it’s tempting to take over assignments for our children, it’s crucial to allow them the space to learn and grow independently. Supporting them means guiding them, not doing the work for them; otherwise, we may be hindering their development.