I’m worn out. I understand that being tired isn’t a valid excuse as a mom—after all, which mom isn’t running on fumes? Yet, there are moments when my fatigue runs so deep that it impacts my ability to be the mother I aspire to be.
After a long day that started before sunrise, filled with tantrums and chaos from my three little ones, work responsibilities, and all the adulting that comes with it, I finally reach my boys around 5:30 PM. By then, I’m often short on patience and grace as we dive into the evening routine.
When my boys start their rambunctious antics—like running around and joking about silly things instead of eating dinner—I sometimes lose my cool. As I attempt to feed three tiny humans who show little interest in food, I find my frustration bubbling. When I try to usher them upstairs for baths and they act like wild animals, my patience wears thin. And when they pop their heads out of bed for the umpteenth time, I might just raise my voice.
In those moments, my “cherish these moments” mantra goes out the window. I realize that instead of savoring these experiences, I’m wishing them away.
This feeling isn’t constant. If I’m honest with myself, most days I genuinely cherish my boys and their lively spirits. But there are days when the chaos feels overwhelming, and I worry I might lose whatever sliver of sanity I have left. Just one more shriek or one more moment of them pretending not to hear me, and I could be headed for a much-needed break from reality.
I had sworn I wouldn’t be a yeller. It’s disruptive and unproductive. Yet, I find myself raising my voice more often than I’m proud to admit. Why?
Because they’re having too much fun. Because they’re playing too loudly. Because they’re too caught up in the moment to notice my requests for one more bite of chicken. And because I’m too exhausted to manage it all, so I yell.
There needs to be a balance between allowing our children to enjoy life and ensuring they listen to their parents. While there’s a time for play, there’s also a time for following instructions. But does yelling really resolve the issue? Not at all. Often, my boys just laugh it off, which reassures me that I’m not doing irreparable harm. Yet, it also highlights how futile my frustrations can be, much like trying to get an energetic toddler to sit still for a meal.
I’ve come to learn that routine is crucial for us. But within that routine, there must be room for play. I need to engage with them, as they crave my attention. On nights when I make an effort to be present, everything flows more smoothly. Time seems to slow down, and I realize that my sons aren’t the issue—it’s me.
It’s not them; it’s me.
I’m the one who’s stressed out and too tired to engage. I’ve allowed trivial matters to overshadow what truly matters.
So, to my boys, I apologize. It’s not your fault; it’s mine. Moms aren’t perfect. We try our best but stumble along the way. We may snap when we should be laughing or yell when a gentle word is needed. Adult stresses shouldn’t weigh on your shoulders, and you’re meant to play, laugh, and enjoy your childhood.
Your job is to embrace life, and mine is to help guide you towards balance. But in many ways, you’re the ones teaching me how to find that balance. So, thank you. It’s not you; it’s me.
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Summary:
In this blog post, Emma Thompson candidly shares her struggles with parenting while feeling exhausted. She reflects on the challenges of balancing being present for her energetic boys and managing her fatigue. Through honest self-evaluation, she recognizes that her children are not the problem—it’s her own exhaustion and stress that influence her reactions. Emma emphasizes the importance of playtime with her sons and the necessity of finding balance in their lives.