What if you could analyze your child’s tantrums with the perspective of a researcher? Imagine understanding that these outbursts follow a predictable pattern and that certain actions can either help or hinder the resolution of the situation. Recent studies conducted by psychologists at the University of Minnesota and the University of Connecticut shed light on these issues.
In a fascinating experiment, toddlers were outfitted with onesies that contained tiny microphones to record their tantrums. Over time, the researchers collected audio samples from more than 100 instances of meltdowns, revealing the typical “flow” of a tantrum. While listening to a plethora of screaming children may not seem like a good time, the findings were indeed illuminating.
According to Shankar Vedantam from NPR, the study discovered that toddlers’ vocalizations follow recognizable patterns, with various sounds emerging and receding in a consistent rhythm throughout a tantrum. Understanding what constitutes a “normal” tantrum can assist parents and professionals in distinguishing between a typical episode of frustration and a potential underlying issue.
The study indicated that vocalizations such as yelling or crying often occur together, which most parents can attest to after witnessing a child in full meltdown mode at a store. Surprisingly, the conventional wisdom that tantrums consist of two distinct phases—anger followed by sadness—was proven incorrect. Instead, both emotions are intertwined, occurring simultaneously, where peaks of anger are interspersed with moments of sadness.
How Should Parents Approach a Tantrum?
So, how should parents approach a tantrum, such as when your child is upset over “too much dinner”? Vedantam highlights insights from Dr. Potegal, a co-author of the study, who suggests that the key to resolving a tantrum quickly is to help the child move past their anger. Once the anger subsides, the child often seeks comfort through their sadness. Interestingly, the researchers found that the fastest way to reduce anger is to do nothing—an approach that is often easier said than done for caregivers.
Dr. Potegal describes “anger traps,” moments when parents may feel compelled to engage or solve the child’s perceived dilemma, even if it is completely nonsensical. For example, one child, Mia, threw a fit because she didn’t want her feet anymore, leading her mother to humorously suggest scissors to cut them off, which only deepened the tantrum. Another case involved Mia’s distress over wanting to sit at the corner of a round table—an amusing demonstration of how trivial the root cause of tantrums can be.
The Mayo Clinic recommends ignoring tantrums initially and considering time-outs as a strategy, but this approach hasn’t worked well for many parents. In practice, it often leads to further engagement with an enraged child. Instead, some parents have found success by briefly placing their child in a safe, childproofed space until the crying subsides, then providing comfort afterward.
Viewing tantrums from a scientific lens might serve as a useful distraction during a seemingly endless episode. Most importantly, this research reassures caregivers that tantrums are transient; both parent and child will eventually find relief. As Vedantam notes, “No one can stay that angry for long. It’s exhausting.”
Conclusion
In summary, understanding the dynamics of tantrums can significantly help parents navigate these challenging moments. Recognizing the intertwined nature of anger and sadness while knowing when to step back can lead to quicker resolutions.
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