In today’s digital age, the trend of shaming mothers for their technology use is gaining traction. If you’re at the park scrolling through your phone, you might be labeled as neglectful. Checking social media while your children are awake? You’re practically the worst parent imaginable. Recently, a viral post has added to this narrative, suggesting that mothers should feel an overwhelming sense of guilt if they fail to maintain eye contact with their children during playtime.
A mother from California conducted an “experiment” observing her twin boys as they played, tallying how often they sought her attention. The results showed a significant number of glances aimed at her—presumably for validation or to share moments of their play. In her post, she expressed concern that her boys would feel “emotionally alone” if she had chosen to engage with social media instead of focusing on them. This message quickly spread, garnering nearly 60,000 shares, often accompanied by admonishments like “Moms, put down your phones. Pick up your babies.”
While it’s important to advocate for balance in parenting, the condescending tone of such posts is what truly frustrates many. The underlying message often turns into a means of judging others rather than fostering understanding. For instance, I’ve committed to reading 30 classic novels this year, using the Kindle app on my phone. My device also serves as my primary means of communication for family, friends, and work, as I live in Nebraska and contribute to publications based in New York City. My online presence is crucial for my livelihood.
Many moms utilize their phones for essential tasks, yet there’s an unnecessary stigma attached to it. Perhaps a mother needs to draft a grocery list, respond to an important email, or simply connect with a friend. Maybe she’s struggling with postpartum depression, and those few minutes spent on social media provide a much-needed respite. Why should anyone judge her for that?
“Balance” is subjective and varies significantly from one mother to another based on their unique responsibilities. The last thing we need is yet another guilt trip about not giving every second of our attention to our children.
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In summary, while it’s vital to be present for our children, it’s equally important to recognize that technology can serve meaningful purposes in our lives. Instead of shaming each other, let’s strive for understanding and support as we navigate the complexities of motherhood.