I crafted multiple introductions for this post, oscillating between poetic and humorous tones, all centered around themes of bodies, modesty, and gender. But let’s cut to the chase: recently, I taught my 7-year-old daughter how to use a tampon.
You might be surprised or even appalled by this. Perhaps you’re frantically searching for child protective services. Allow me to explain my reasoning.
Breaking the Cycle of Shame
Growing up, I never saw my mother in a state of undress. I missed out on witnessing the natural contours of her body—her rounded belly, the marks of life on her skin. Instead, I was bombarded with images of women from advertisements and movies—idealized figures that were far from reality. As my own body began to change, I felt inadequate because I believed those sculpted women represented the norm. It took time for me to understand that every body is unique and beautiful in its own right.
In contrast, I want my daughter to see that the most significant woman in her life embraces her imperfections—the dimples on her thighs, the curves of her hips, and every other detail that makes her who she is. This is the standard I want to set for her. I want her to grow up celebrating her body and its changes, rather than feeling ashamed.
Normalizing the Conversation
We’re not nudists, though. If I’m getting out of the shower and she’s brushing her teeth, she sees me. If I’m dressing while she’s cozied up in my bed, she sees me. And yes, if I’m in the bathroom and she walks in—because let’s face it, closed doors are merely suggestions to kids—she sees me.
“Mom, what are you doing?” she asked the other day.
“I’m changing my tampon.”
She understands why. We had the conversation when she innocently asked about the “tail” she noticed in her anatomy lessons. Earlier that week, after I snapped at her in a grocery store, she approached me with a box of tampons and said, “You probably need to buy these too, right, Mom?” She was spot on. I purchased them.
“Can you show me how?” she inquired.
I paused for a moment but then realized, why not? Just like I taught her how to wipe properly and blow her nose, why should menstruation be any different? It’s a natural part of life.
My Own Experience
Reflecting on my own experience, I remember being told by my mother that I was too young to learn about tampons. When the time came, I had to navigate this process alone. I snuck out, purchased a box, and was mortified during checkout. After a frustrating trial-and-error session in front of a mirror, I finally figured it out, but it was painful because no one had warned me about removing the applicator. I want to spare my daughter from that confusion.
So, I demonstrated how to use a tampon—how to open the packaging, prepare the applicator, and most importantly, that it’s a normal and natural process.
Why Delay the Conversation?
I could have delayed this conversation, but why? Saying “I’ll explain when you’re older” only adds an unnecessary layer of mystery and stigma to something that should be straightforward. Menstruation is a natural occurrence, albeit sometimes messy, and it’s crucial to discuss it openly.
Now, my daughter has learned the basics from me, the most important woman in her life, in a way that feels completely natural. For more insights on related topics, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
Conclusion
In summary, teaching my daughter about tampons is about fostering an open dialogue about our bodies and breaking down taboos. It’s essential to help her embrace her natural self as she grows.