Let’s be clear: I know some parents will come at me for wishing away the baby years, longing for those sweet, cuddly days when their little ones were infants. But honestly? I can appreciate the charm of the baby and toddler stages while still dreaming about a time when my loved ones aren’t likely to cover me in vomit or require constant diaper duty. Moms with older kids have unlocked a whole new level of freedom, and while I get that it might come with its own challenges—like navigating social media and teenage angst—here’s my take on why I’m envious of your big kid life.
1. School Days
As a stay-at-home parent, I cherish the privilege of raising my kids. But let’s be real: I have a countdown app on my phone for the first day I can drop my child off at school, strip off my pants, and savor some glorious solo time. I’m ready to unleash my inner rebel—think loud music and unguarded sharp objects!
2. Sleepovers
Imagine a whole night free to do as you please, no more racing home to avoid babysitter fees. I fantasize about sending my kid to a friend’s house for some fun, junk food, and a chance to let someone else deal with the inevitable mess! Sure, I’ll have to host a sleepover in return, but let’s be honest—freedom comes at a price.
3. Potty Independence
Your child can handle their own bathroom business? Amazing! They know when to go, and you don’t have to remind them every five minutes. Sure, they may skip washing their hands, but I’ll gladly take that over the diaper drama I’m still dealing with.
4. Chores Done by Kids
I’ve come to terms with the fact that chores are a fantasy of mine, but your big kids can help out! I dream of the day when I can delegate responsibilities and sit back while they tackle the household tasks. To anyone who says good luck with that, you’re not taking away my dreams.
5. Dressing Themselves
Sure, they might not always match, and there’s a chance their underwear is on backward, but your kids can put on their own clothes! Mine are still struggling with hats. Yes, there will be fashion disputes, but I’ll deal with those when I get there.
6. Summertime Fun
While I envy the structured school year, I also yearn for the real joy of summer breaks with older kids. Right now, every day feels the same, and getting out of our routine is more hassle than it’s worth. With older kids, I can dream of actual vacations and lazy days spent sleeping in—pants optional!
7. Hilarious Quips
Your big kids have a knack for saying the funniest, most inappropriate things that leave you laughing. While I’m just starting to get a taste of this with my toddler, the endless cycle of knock-knock jokes without punchlines is wearing thin. I crave the witty banter that only older kids can provide.
8. Bye-Bye Disney Junior
I’m not sure if the shows for older kids are any better, but anything is better than the endless loop of Pirate Jake and Princess Sofia. I’m tired of trying to counteract the unrealistic lessons they teach! Children need role models, not characters who magically become royalty overnight.
9. Real Conversations
Much of my day consists of repeating the same phrases: “No, don’t touch that!” and “Stop riding your sister!” With older kids, I could actually engage in conversations about their day and what they learned. Going out to dinner or the movies could be a pleasant experience instead of a chaotic race against time.
10. Goodbye Baby Gear
Yes, babies are small, but their gear is enormous! Cribs, swings, and playpens take up serious real estate. Big kids need just a few clothes and a mattress. I dream of reclaiming my space and not tripping over a mountain of baby paraphernalia.
Every age has its unique joys and struggles, and while some may lament the chaos of the toddler years, others would trade anything to relive those moments. Ultimately, every stage is worth cherishing.
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