I embrace my identity as a self-focused mother. That’s a label I’ve encountered often. At the end of each hectic day, I carve out a little time for myself because my well-being matters just as much as that of my husband and child.
This perspective sparked quite the debate on my social media. Comments ranged from, “You’re a terrible mom for not dedicating every moment to your family,” to “Good for you for making time for yourself; I prioritize my kids above all.” Some even went so far as to declare, “You should feel ashamed for not putting your needs last. That’s just selfish.”
Yes, I am selfish. As a working mother and wife, I juggle a demanding full-time job, a fitness business, and help my husband run his growing masonry and construction firm, all while raising a toddler and preparing for a newborn. I’m managing a lively household that also includes a spirited German shepherd and a thriving garden. I am busy, and I cherish the blessings that fill my day.
When I’m criticized for taking a mere 30 minutes to write, reflect, work out, or enjoy a little pampering, I find it hard to relate. My younger self would have defiantly dismissed such judgments, but maturity has taught me to rise above negativity. That half-hour of solitude is hardly a significant portion of my day; it’s a precious moment of peace or a chance to sweat away stress.
This time isn’t about prioritizing myself above others; it’s about maintaining my sanity in a hectic life. I need these moments to process the day’s events—my coworkers’ demands, my boss’s expectations, my friends’ struggles, my husband’s worries, and my toddler’s meltdowns. These “selfish” moments help recharge my batteries for the next day’s challenges.
I’ve realized that neglecting my needs often led to increased stress, irritability, and, regrettably, judgment towards others. While my needs may still take a backseat, I ensure I dedicate time to care for myself each day. It’s necessary, and I believe every mother deserves that too.
I used to wonder why some women with similar responsibilities seemed so much happier and healthier than I felt. Despite living what many would consider the American dream, I often went to bed unsatisfied. The lack of “me” time drained my energy and enthusiasm, leaving me to navigate a never-ending cycle of chores and responsibilities without any personal fulfillment.
Now, if I leave a load of laundry undone or opt for leftovers instead of cooking, I don’t stress over it. I recognize that these small sacrifices allow me to reclaim those vital 30 minutes for myself. And let me tell you, it’s absolutely worth it!
Since I began prioritizing personal time, I’ve lost 25 pounds and four pant sizes, cleared up skin issues, improved my planning skills, boosted my work performance (and received a significant pay raise), and genuinely enjoyed quality time with my son and family. I’ve even rekindled my connection with my husband. Taking time for myself has transformed my attitude, confidence, and sense of self-worth.
So, go ahead—treat yourself to a bubble bath, savor a good book, enjoy a run in the crisp air, or indulge in that slice of chocolate cake with a glass of wine on your porch as the sun sets. You deserve it, just as much as any mom does.
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In summary, recognizing the importance of nurturing yourself ultimately leads to a happier and healthier family dynamic.