We initiated a bedtime routine with our first child right from infancy, incorporating every tip we could find: low lighting, gentle massages, lullabies; then moving on to storytime, a sip of water, and prayers. As he approached age three, things became quite chaotic, with games, songs, multiple prayers, back rubs, and cozy snuggles. Eventually, we scrapped the elaborate routine altogether since it felt like we were starting at 4 PM. Now, it’s simplified to brushing teeth and saying prayers.
However, the real challenge begins once I kiss him goodnight, turn off the light, and step out of the room. I often find myself counting to five in the hallway, only to hear a familiar call: “Mom!”
“I need a drink of water,” my five-year-old, Ethan, pipes up.
“It’s right next to your bed,” I reply, planting a kiss on his forehead before returning to the kitchen to tackle the dishes.
Then, the little footsteps shuffle down the hall. “Mom, I need to use the bathroom,” he announces. I acknowledge his request, and off he goes. After a brief interlude, I hear a creak in the hallway.
“What is it?” I ask, a bit irked, without turning around.
“The fan is blowing on my feet,” he explains. I return to the room (where my toddler sister watches curiously from her crib) and adjust his bedding just enough to cover his feet but not too much to make him too warm.
“Alright, goodnight,” I say, stepping back to the kitchen. Peace reigns for about thirty minutes before a little face suddenly appears over the armchair, startling me.
“I forgot to tell you something,” he says, pausing as if to let his ploy sink in.
“Buddy,” I say, my tone oscillating between calm and stern, “GET BACK INTO BED.”
Sometimes that ends the back-and-forth, but on particularly challenging nights, it can persist for two hours.
What if there’s a strategy to help?
Enter the “sleep pass,” a concept similar to a hall pass that permits kids to get out of bed once a night for essential needs without disrupting the entire household. According to research by Dr. Lisa Hamilton, a child behavior specialist at the Child Development Institute, this method has shown promise.
In her study, children were given a 5-by-7-inch card as their one “get-out-of-bed-free” pass. This could be used for any reason—bathroom, drink, or a quick cuddle—but after using it, they were instructed to stay in bed, even if they cried out. Results indicated that this pass drastically reduced nighttime disruptions. It grants both parents and children a sense of control in what can often feel like a chaotic emotional landscape. Children understand they have one opportunity to leave their room, while parents can feel assured in keeping the door closed after that.
I’m putting this sleep pass into practice tonight. If it reduces the nightly back-and-forth, it’s worth a shot. My son deserves more sleep than he’s currently getting, and the option of deliberating over whether to use the pass might just be enough to help him drift off.
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Conclusion
In summary, the sleep pass method could be a game changer for managing bedtime struggles. It offers kids a sense of autonomy while providing parents with peace of mind. Every family’s bedtime routine can be challenging, but with a little creativity and structure, it can become a smoother experience.