I find myself experiencing anger quite frequently. This can vary from minor annoyances (like discovering the last of the eggs has been used without replacing the carton) to moderate frustration (like realizing childcare expenses exceed my rent) to outright fury (especially when confronted with comments such as, “More guns in schools is the answer to gun violence”). Despite this, I often work hard to suppress my anger. I might shake my head at the empty egg carton or shrug off our inadequate family-support policies with a resigned, “What can you do?” When it comes to issues like gun violence, I attempt to channel my anger into “constructive” outlets. At times, I worry that if I openly express my feelings, others might perceive me as irrational.
Why is it that society struggles to accept angry women?
When men display anger, they are often viewed as assertive and passionate. In contrast, women expressing anger are frequently labeled as unstable. This perception isn’t just anecdotal; research supports it. For instance, a study highlighted by Sarah Collins in the Journal of Social Issues illustrates how men and women are perceived differently when expressing anger.
In this study, 210 college students participated as jurors in a simulated trial. They watched a video involving a man accused of murdering his wife, reviewed evidence, and cast initial verdicts. Participants then communicated with jurors who either agreed or disagreed with their verdicts, with one juror being clearly identified by gender. When the male juror expressed anger, other participants began to doubt their initial decisions. Conversely, when the female juror became angry, they became more confident in their original verdicts.
Collins notes that this dynamic—consistent across both male and female jurors—suggests that “men can exert more social pressure through their anger,” while women tend to lose influence when expressing the same emotion. This aligns with findings from a 2008 study that indicated men gain status from expressing anger, while women lose it. Men are viewed as justified in their anger, while women’s anger is often interpreted as a sign of emotional instability.
In essence, if a woman is angry, the assumption is that there’s something wrong with her, not that her frustrations—be it an uncooperative partner, stalled career post-children, or the alarming rates of gun violence—are valid. Instead, her anger may be dismissed as hysteria or a lack of self-control.
A Mother’s Perspective
As a mother, I ponder this frequently. I recall moments of rising frustration while trying to wrangle my two young children, who find it amusing to trip me as I juggle groceries and dinner prep. I think about the financial strain when I write yet another check to the babysitter while barely making ends meet. I reflect on the heart-wrenching news of another school shooting. Managing my anger over both minor and significant issues has become a daily battle. But lately, I feel the need to stop repressing my anger. Mothers have legitimate reasons to be upset, and it’s high time we stop concealing it.
For further insights into family planning and resources on home insemination, check out this post on artificial insemination kits. Additionally, for those looking for support in navigating fertility, this resource from Cleveland Clinic is invaluable. Women should feel empowered to express their feelings and concerns; after all, it’s crucial to acknowledge the challenges we face.
Summary
Angry expressions from mothers often go unrecognized or are dismissed due to societal biases that favor male anger. Research shows that while men gain credibility from expressing anger, women often lose influence. This unfair dynamic leads to the perception that women’s anger stems from personal flaws rather than legitimate frustrations. As mothers, it’s essential to acknowledge our anger and the reasons behind it, rather than suppressing it.